jaymay's helpful hints for women

[jaymay15]

Trust me, follow my hint guide, and you will be the perfect girlfriend.

1. if you rub your bf's penis for a minute or so, then roll over and say you are tired and going to sleep, expect to a) get punched in the vagina, b) raped, or c) asked to leave.

2. if your bf pays for dinner, you offer to give him the money afterwards, or you give him a good blowjob on the way home.

3. if he gets you something, he isnt doing it for free, just like you dont do things for free. we buy you flowers, we want either sex, or are sorry for having sex with someone else. dont think otherwise.

4. dont drink around your bf unless he asks you to. dont assume he wants to party with you. thats why he has real friends.

5. dont take it personal if he spends more time on the internet than with you. its because you are a stupid bitch and married a computer dork.

5b. If you are upset your husband drinks alot, shut the fuck up unless a) he didnt drink beforehand, b) he doesnt have a job, or c) he doesnt take care of his children (yours or not).

6. Do not yell at your husband if he is drinking. You know whatever you say will cause a fight, so if you are doing that just to start a fight, then expect to fight like a man, since you are fighting WITH a man. If you lower yourself to just start a fight because you are angry over his drinking, then he can lower himself to fight back with fist because he is angry at your mouth.

7. Cook him dinner. Just shut your mouth and do it. If you dont, you will be treated badly for 6 hours minimum. Cooking takes an hour tops. Do the MATH... unless a) you never went to college, b) you dropped out of high school, c) you are a dancer, or d) you are just like 90 percent of women out there; stupid.

8. If you are ugly, then DONT ask if you look good in something. Chances are if you have to ask if you look good, you know you dont look good, or you are fishing for a compliment. If you are fishing for compliments, then you are unsure if your husband loves you. If you are unsure if your husband loves you, you have other issues to work out other than clothes, becasue trust me, thats not why he doesnt love you (unless this is used in a gay relationship, whereas it might be why).

9. If you are fat, dont cook low fat dinners and make your husband eat them. Its not his fault you are a cow. Cook him what he likes.

10. When you are having sex with him, be mindful of his feelings. All girls say is 'my man sucks in bed' and 'he doesnt know how to do it right'. Guess what slutbag, neither do you 85% of the time, and laying there isnt 'right'. And its not his fault if he blows his load in 4 minutes. Its yours for not a) making him excited, b) putting stress on him for stupid shit, or c) you are not hot and he just wants it to be over with.

[dnallivah]

:lol: priceless, especially number four

[Son Gokuu]

Trust me, follow my hint guide, and you will be the perfect girlfriend.

1. if you rub your bf's penis for a minute or so, then roll over and say you are tired and going to sleep, expect to a) get punched in the vagina, b) raped, or c) asked to leave.

2. if your bf pays for dinner, you offer to give him the money afterwards, or you give him a good blowjob on the way home.

3. if he gets you something, he isnt doing it for free, just like you dont do things for free. we buy you flowers, we want either sex, or are sorry for having sex with someone else. dont think otherwise.

4. dont drink around your bf unless he asks you to. dont assume he wants to party with you. thats why he has real friends.

5. dont take it personal if he spends more time on the internet than with you. its because you are a stupid bitch and married a computer dork.

*forwards No. 5 to wife*

[Graves]

4 is very correct. Plus she has to be my designated driver.

[jaymay15]

5b. If you are upset your husband drinks alot, shut the fuck up unless a) he didnt drink beforehand, b) he doesnt have a job, or c) he doesnt take care of his children (yours or not).

6. Do not yell at your husband if he is drinking. You know whatever you say will cause a fight, so if you are doing that just to start a fight, then expect to fight like a man, since you are fighting WITH a man. If you lower yourself to just start a fight because you are angry over his drinking, then he can lower himself to fight back with fist because he is angry at your mouth.

7. Cook him dinner. Just shut your mouth and do it. If you dont, you will be treated badly for 6 hours minimum. Cooking takes an hour tops. Do the MATH... unless a) you never went to college, b) you dropped out of high school, c) you are a dancer, or d) you are just like 90 percent of women out there; stupid.

[dnallivah]

7. Cook him dinner. Just shut your mouth and do it. If you dont, you will be treated badly for 6 hours minimum.

hahahaha so true

[Tasticle]

8. touch TAS's penis. Please.

[Coke King]

I'm so tempted to print these then hang them all over campus. :shifty:

[Graves]

I'm so tempted to print these then hang them all over campus. :shifty:

You'd make the world a better place for it.

[Honeyfugler]

fuck that shit, when I don't have to work the same numbers of hours as him, then I will cook his ass dinner.

the hell with men, I'm going nun or lesbian!

*humps dna*

also :lol: @ #5

[Stryfe]

9. SHAVE

[dnallivah]

fuck that shit, when I don't have to work the same numbers of hours as him, then I will cook his ass dinner.

the hell with men, I'm going nun or lesbian!

*humps dna*

also :lol: @ #5

DONT TOUCH ME :mad:

[Kzin]

I'm so tempted to print these then hang them all over campus. :shifty:
The laundromat closest to the trailer park would probably hit the target audience more completely ....

[Blackferne]

DONT TOUCH ME :mad:

What if she cooks you dinner?

[Coke King]

9. SHAVE

QFMFE

[Son Gokuu]

fuck that shit, when I don't have to work the same numbers of hours as him, then I will cook his ass dinner.

the hell with men, I'm going nun or lesbian!

*humps dna*

also :lol: @ #5

My wife works 3 days a week for like 6 hours. I hate it. I wish she was home full time. I told her she could stay home, fuck if she told me I could stay home and not work I'd do it.

[bad1]

my wife and I have love and mutual respect for each other.

[Honeyfugler]

My wife works 3 days a week for like 6 hours. I hate it. I wish she was home full time. I told her she could stay home, fuck if she told me I could stay home and not work I'd do it.
shut the fuck up.














*sad because she isn't hot enough to get a man like that* :emo:

[jaymay15]

added more rules at top.

[jaymay15]

id like to stress number 9.

[bad1]

I just emailed these to Dr. Phil


oh and can we get a sticky up in this hizzouse!!!

[Son Gokuu]

shut the fuck up.














*sad because she isn't hot enough to get a man like that* :emo:


Go republican and meet republican guys. We like taking care of our women instead of acting like women. ;)

[Honeyfugler]

Go republican and meet republican guys. We like taking care of our women instead of acting like women. ;)
wtf where have you been? I went republican officially back in June.

[jaymay15]

wtf where have you been? I went republican officially back in June.
apparently you went emo in august. lose the fucking avatar.




ok thats not fair. youve alwasy been extremely emo.

[Son Gokuu]

wtf where have you been? I went republican officially back in June.

I thought you were joking.

[Honeyfugler]

apparently you went emo in august. lose the fucking avatar.




ok thats not fair. youve alwasy been extremely emo.
I am ultra emo now. I am the super emo. I am more emo than FM. I cut myself for breakfast lunch AND dinner.

[jaymay15]

I am ultra emo now. I am the super emo. I am more emo than FM. I cut myself for breakfast lunch AND dinner.
hardcore!

[Dakk]

my wife and I have love and mutual respect for each other.
Translation: I am pussywhipped, but the sex is good.

[WerrtZer]

I cut myself for breakfast lunch AND dinner.

Get the juggular sometime...I like a red blooded Republican!

[~Fallen Angel~]

*Takes notes*

[Coke King]

*Takes notes*

Good whore!

[Norlanthale]

sticky this

[~Fallen Angel~]

Good whore!What would jaymay do?

[Stryfe]

By popular demand.

[Norlanthale]

By popular demand.



I think it is by popular demand that I get laid. :melvin:


MAKE IT HAPPEN!

[Famed]

this thread is great. I SUPPORT IT!

[Stryfe]

I think it is by popular demand that I get laid. :melvin:


MAKE IT HAPPEN!
Alright, I'll throw you a quickie.

[Mrs. Blackferne]

This isn't even remotely amusing.

[Norlanthale]

Alright, I'll throw you a quickie.


:melvin: get to it! I just got out of the shower.

[MMM]

http://bulletin.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=bulletin.read&messageID=159784754&Mytoken=20050827082124

:shifty:

[Norlanthale]

http://bulletin.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=bulletin.read&messageID=159784754&Mytoken=20050827082124

:shifty:



no worky....I clicked and it just says to sign up......fuck that!

[MMM]

no worky....I clicked and it just says to sign up......fuck that!

well.
I posted a bulletin that goes to all my friends on there with this article and the address to the website... Hopefully they will continue to post it and it will spread through myspace.com

[MMM]

HAH!
Someone else posted it, the word is spreading!!

[Etch]

This isn't even remotely amusing.
:lol:

[vortexala]

#4 ftw

[rub the bear]

SG is a mod noob. SPLIT THREAD OPTION.

[Sihaya]

jaymay, you're the man!

you need to write a book/pamlet(sp) so i could hand out to my virgin friends :lol:

[Welshy]

Dr Phil: Old and busted

Jaymay: the new hotness

[jaymay15]

:lol:

Im probably not the new hotness anymore. Its already been 4 hours.

[Welshy]

YOU'RE NOT THE MAN AT ALL!

[jaymay15]

YOU'RE NOT THE MAN AT ALL!
I was just trying to HELP A FELLOW OUT

[Dakk]

I was just trying to HELP A FELLOW OUT
Best. Sticky. Ever.

[Mustard]

9. SHAVE
;) Done since 5 years ago baby... GROCE How can you not?!!!

[Norlanthale]

;) Done since 5 years ago baby... GROCE How can you not?!!!



hay me too! hawt! :o

[jaymay15]

this list saved my life

[Rodd]

Trust me, follow my hint guide, and you will be the perfect girlfriend.

1. if you rub your bf's penis for a minute or so, then roll over and say you are tired and going to sleep, expect to a) get punched in the vagina, b) raped, or c) asked to leave.

2. if your bf pays for dinner, you offer to give him the money afterwards, or you give him a good blowjob on the way home.

3. if he gets you something, he isnt doing it for free, just like you dont do things for free. we buy you flowers, we want either sex, or are sorry for having sex with someone else. dont think otherwise.

4. dont drink around your bf unless he asks you to. dont assume he wants to party with you. thats why he has real friends.

5. dont take it personal if he spends more time on the internet than with you. its because you are a stupid bitch and married a computer dork.

5b. If you are upset your husband drinks alot, shut the fuck up unless a) he didnt drink beforehand, b) he doesnt have a job, or c) he doesnt take care of his children (yours or not).

6. Do not yell at your husband if he is drinking. You know whatever you say will cause a fight, so if you are doing that just to start a fight, then expect to fight like a man, since you are fighting WITH a man. If you lower yourself to just start a fight because you are angry over his drinking, then he can lower himself to fight back with fist because he is angry at your mouth.

7. Cook him dinner. Just shut your mouth and do it. If you dont, you will be treated badly for 6 hours minimum. Cooking takes an hour tops. Do the MATH... unless a) you never went to college, b) you dropped out of high school, c) you are a dancer, or d) you are just like 90 percent of women out there; stupid.

8. If you are ugly, then DONT ask if you look good in something. Chances are if you have to ask if you look good, you know you dont look good, or you are fishing for a compliment. If you are fishing for compliments, then you are unsure if your husband loves you. If you are unsure if your husband loves you, you have other issues to work out other than clothes, becasue trust me, thats not why he doesnt love you (unless this is used in a gay relationship, whereas it might be why).

9. If you are fat, dont cook low fat dinners and make your husband eat them. Its not his fault you are a cow. Cook him what he likes.

10. When you are having sex with him, be mindful of his feelings. All girls say is 'my man sucks in bed' and 'he doesnt know how to do it right'. Guess what slutbag, neither do you 85% of the time, and laying there isnt 'right'. And its not his fault if he blows his load in 4 minutes. Its yours for not a) making him excited, b) putting stress on him for stupid shit, or c) you are not hot and he just wants it to be over with.

I decree that these be known as jaymay 15's 10 Commandments and become the FIRST NEW POST IN THE FAMOUS THREADS spot.

This is why morning crew > your crew.

[Esoteric Polar Bear]

My wife works 3 days a week for like 6 hours. I hate it. I wish she was home full time. I told her she could stay home, fuck if she told me I could stay home and not work I'd do it.

How did I miss this thread? Also, I hope I find a woman that is modern enough that she wants to provide for the family, then I can just get a part time job to support my gaming habit. :melvy:

[jaymay15]

Yah I knew there were some people out there that would still appreciate this.

[Esoteric Polar Bear]

Yah I knew there were some people out there that would still appreciate this.

It's both funny and true!

[Rodd]

On a side note someone needs to mail this list to my girlfriend. Check this shit out, the lunatic tells me the other day "I'm uncomfortable with you having people over when I'm not around, cause there's a load stain in the shape of a handprint on the bed sheets."

So the fuck what. #1 my friends arent going in the bedroom. #2, wait I cant have people over cause she's not doing her womenly duties and cleaning up after us both? Fuck that, someone mail her this list.

[jaymay15]

On a side note someone needs to mail this list to my girlfriend. Check this shit out, the lunatic tells me the other day "I'm uncomfortable with you having people over when I'm not around, cause there's a load stain in the shape of a handprint on the bed sheets."

So the fuck what. #1 my friends arent going in the bedroom. #2, wait I cant have people over cause she's not doing her womenly duties and cleaning up after us both? Fuck that, someone mail her this list.
ok gimme her email address

[Rodd]

ok gimme her email address

I'm talking real mail. No fuck it it needs to be transcribed onto papyrus hieroglyphics style!

[Esoteric Polar Bear]

I'm talking real mail. No fuck it it needs to be transcribed onto papyrus hieroglyphics style!

I wonder what egyptian porn looked like.

[jaymay15]

I wont disagree.

[Welshy]

I got some porn with a total whore dressed as a gypo

[jaymay15]

yah i saw a porn where the girl was a gypsy, the guy was a brazilian hero, and the other guy was dressed like a pilgrim.

it was horrible.

[Welshy]

One of my friend's mom's told us that a handy mnemonic device for remembering how Egypt is spelt is "Ever Got Your Pussy Tickled"