Jaymay's "Bartender Recipe List "

[jaymay15]

Hey everyone!

To kick off this fabulous summer of 2006, as the second week of june is finally upon us, I will introduce this recipe list upon the GAT.

Why the second of june, might you ask? That is easy! All the college kids are home and through with 'seeing old friends', all the high school kids that like to sneak out and drink whatever poison older guys like me put in their drinks are out of school, and the hippies are now leaving the house and hitting house parties to tell fantastic stories of drugs and mushroom fortresses!

So, sit back and enjoy the list. Feel free to paste and copy and print off the list to keep at home. Or put it on your mini fridge. If you follow my guide, you will not only be able to hold your own by the end of summer, you will have stories to show for it.


http://img113.exs.cx/img113/3521/newjaymaysig.gif

Jaymay Pina Colada

Remember your blender on this one!

Plug your blender in, and have the following available:

Bottle of Malibu
Bottle of Vodka (plain, no flavored vodka)
Combine equal parts of each and fill up blender half way. So, 1/4th blender of vodka, 1/4th blender malibu.

Add: half of a banana, sliced
Add: small can of pineapple chunks (take the pineapple out of the can, idiot)
Add: 1/2 cup of coconut milk (can be bought at any grocery store)


Fill to top with ice. Blend the shit out of it. Get ready for a delightful ride.

If you have regular rum, add a shot to the top of each glass. Give it the ole' pirates feel. You can then call it top heavy!


Jaymay Mind Eraser

Now this is an all-time favorite of mine. Top 5 drink without a doubt!

The ingredients are very simple. And as you will be making alot, ill skip most of the measurements.

Get a bottle of:
Kahlua (or any cheap rip-off, you sad bastard)
Vodka (take pride in being cheap, and get the cheapest kind)
Club Soda

Just use plastic cups on this. You can use regular cups, but make sure they are the size of coffee cups. NO bigger and definetely NO smaller.

Now the most important ingredient of the whole thing: STRAWS
And not the pussy small coffee stir straws. Thick straws. You can find them at any store. Let me repeat, GET STRAWS YOU FAGGOT! GET ALOT!

Ok.


In each cup, fill halfway with ice. Add 2 shots of kahlua at the bottom. Now very slowly add 2 shots of vodka. SLOWLY. No mixing WHATSOEVER. Now top it off with club soda. (to do this easily when you are shitfaced, guess on amounts of liquor. 1/3 cup per each ingredient after ice is added)

DO NOT MIX!!!!

Put straw in and make sure its at the very bottom.

Now here is the very important part:
Suck on that straw like it was a dick and you were a fag needin some attention. You have to suck it all down within 5 seconds. Thats not an official time, but its a jaymay official time. You must drink it all. No matter how painful it is.

The reason there is club soda on top is because it might be rough to suck down roughly 4 shots, but by time you get to the club soda, that smooths it out. TRUST ME.


WARNING: Mind erasers effect people different ways. It is not suggested you do them back to back. Mix things in, let them take effect. I have a friend that can drink me under the table in beer, but she passed out after 2 mind erasers.


Jaymay Screwdriver

The mother of them all!

This is easy. Because I dont play around with my screwdrivers. I dont put ice in them. I dont put cherries or pretty little gay umbrellas.


And I dont buy shit orange juice. Buy the good stuff. And get pulp in it. Youll need somethind solid in your stomach after this list.


The recipe is simple:

1/2 OJ
1/2 Vodka (smirnoff is fine, really cheap is bad, grey goose is ideal)

Not a splash of vodka. Not a shot. Not some. Not a little. I want that god damn concoction to be almost clear. If you cant see the bottom of the cup, start over!!

Jaymay Smartie Bomb

As I have moved on in my life away from Jaiger, I still enjoy a good bomb.

So I am sure you are all familiar with how bombs are made. Shot of liquor, 1/3rd can of Red Bull.

Instead of the Jaiger on this one, simply use Blackhaus. Its a raspberry liquor. Its 80 proof last time I checked. Its not the weak silly schnapps kool aid crap.

It tastes just like the little smarties candies. Great for impressing the girls. And great after a few rounds and the hard stuff feels like a knife stabbing the back of your throat.


Jaymay Hairy Buffalo
Hairy buffalo are fun and no one recipe is ever the same. So I wont even go into exact recipe detials minus a few key ingredients.

Any true summer partier knows that hairy buffalo are a great drink for an all day event. As it provides you food and liquor.

Key ingredient: a large cooler.

First is first, but whatever liquor you want. Schnapps are great. Spiced rum is usually bad, but malibu is great. Actually rum is good, forget I said that. I just dont like spiced rum. Anything with a smooth flavor. No whiskey. Mainly vodka, and fruity liquor. Also, make sure you buy an extra litre of vodka.

Cut hole the size of the mouth of the vodka bottle into the watermelon. Sit upright (as in dont lay it flat on its side, lean it against something and sit it up). Place watermelon on top of vodka bottle where the hole is. Turn upside down, so the vodka will pour into the watermelon. DONT WORRY, it wont spill everywhere. Do this the day before the party. After 24 hours, or less, the watermelon will absorb ALL of the vodka. After, when cutting the watermelon, make sure the run off juices get used and not tossed. FOR GODS SAKE!

Now add all the watermelon. Then whatever fruit you want to add. If I may, get green apples. They are incredible on how much they can soak up liquor. Peaches dont do much. Cherries are great.

Now once you have all your liquor in there and fruit, let that sit for a few hours. Here is my little secret. You will need to add fruit punch and 7up to it, but most people do that when they add the liquor. What kind of fucking sense does that make? That means your fruit is sucking up 7up and not vodka. Add all that stuff once you are ready to start eating/drinking.


Remember. Get alot of fruit and alot of liquor. This can feed/drink an army. And its refreshing. DO NOT ADD ICE. It only waters it down. Keep in a cool place or add ice to you cup. Nothing worse than showing up at a party 5 hours after it started to find the hairy buffalo so watered down your better off drinking water.


Jaymay Irish Car Bomb
The grandaddy of them all. Stryfe can attest to the fuckedupness I recieve from these. He got an hour long drunk phone call on St Pattys day after I put down 8 of these. Granted, they were the bar version, thats why I could drink 8, but regardless, they do a number.

Ok, ingredients:
bottle of jameson (or cheap irish whiskey that is similar)
bottle of baileys (again, cheap brand if neccesary)
12 pack of guiness.

Get tall glass/cups. Add half a can of guiness. Bars differ, as some add a whole can and pretend it means more liquor.

Add 1 shot of Jameson to the liquor. You can go ahead and mix it, it hurts nobody.

And last but not least, pay careful attention:

Get a shot glass and put a shot of baileys in it. You drop the shot glass into the concoction and immediately drink as quick as you can. AS QUICK AS YOU CAN. The baileys will start to curd after a few seconds. These drinks you must pound. THIS IS A CAR BOMB, NOT A FIRECRACKER MOTHAFUCKA!

First couple sips are just guiness, but then its DELIGHT! Tastes like hot chocolate and hearty whiskey!

Everyone is Irish. And a jaymay carbomb will only prove it.

Jaymay Butterball
This one is DANGEROUS. You may think it is not by looking at the recipe, but the way I instruct to do it is DANGEROUS! I cannot emphasize that enough. I have yet to stay conscious within an hour after doing one of these! I have blacked out everytime! I am dead serious! This is DANGEROUS!! This can lead to funny situations, beating the shit out of your cousin, waking up next to a naked 400 pound man rubbing your shoulder, breaking your cell phone, or running away from the strange guy in the corner!! All these things have happened!! And it could lead to death!! ITS DANGEROUS!!

Ingredients
Baileys
Buttershots (butterscotch schnapps)

Its real simple. Its a buttery nipple. EXTRA LARGE VERSION. You drink this like it was beer. Yes, you heard me, you drink this shot like it is beer. If you dont, its not a jaymay butterball. Its a buttery nipple. Harmless shot that girlies love.

This goes down like chocolate milk. You dont even taste liquor. You drink the WHOLE DAMN CUP of it. Chaos insues.

*this is dangerous. It is a great deal of liquor, regardless if it is cheap and pussy drinks. I have video proof of the damage it has caused me. Anytime you down that much liquor, its asking that the devil plays a game of 'kill the idiot' with you.


Jaymay Surfer on Acid

This drink is easy and fun!

You can have it with ice, or without! Relax mon!

2 parts OJ
1 part Jaiger
1 part Malibu

That simple!! No messing around!! It involves jaiger for your freak wannabe drunks and military men that still think jaiger is godly, and involves malibu for you girls out there!! Try one today!!


Jaymay Snakebite

The death of sorrow!! Snakebites will turn anyones bad fortune into a pit of angry feelings and fun!

1 part lime juice
1 part yukon jack

Just mix them and drink!! Yukon Jack can go down hard, but with lime juice, it goes down smooth! And nothing manlier than saying you drank a snakebite! Plus, it has yukon jack in it. Thats some good shit. Me and my buddy once got a pitcher of snakebites (like 20 shots, thats what they call a pitcher) and pounded them together. Id tell you the kickass shit we did the rest of the night, but I dont remember. I know it involved running around a golf course and playing swords with the poolsticks. All things you should be ashamed of!!





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Id like to add on here that if you are ever hungry, and need a good drunk snack, and not sure what to have, do me a favor. Get graham crackers and put veggie dip on them. Good veggie dip, with actual veggies in it, not the crap flavored sour cream from the store. Its a long standing tradition where I come from. It has personal meaning to me. But I wont go into that. Its good when you are plastered. Great, in fact.

[Dyer's Eve]

Yay!

[jaymay15]

Pina Colada added!

[Cerven]

*Watches FA as she puts the entire can into the blender*

[jaymay15]

mind eraser added!

[jaymay15]

screwdriver added!!

[jaymay15]

smartie bomb added!

[Dyer's Eve]

Mind erasers rock my world, and 5 seconds is a good time.

[Cerven]

Stick-i-fied.

[StarkofDoom]

Honestly Mind erasers sound ridiculously fun, the cheapest I am willing to go is gonna be kettle 1 or schmirnoff though.

[jaymay15]

added hairy buffalo!!!

[Dakk]

Jaymay needs to write a book on drinks.

[jaymay15]

Honestly Mind erasers sound ridiculously fun, the cheapest I am willing to go is gonna be kettle 1 or schmirnoff though.
mind erasers are great. and they arent that complicated. just takes a bit to write out.

seriously, get the cheapest shit you can. you dont sit there and enjoy the flavor, so why spend alot of money on it???

and kahlua is cheap too. especially the cheap shit.

you can get 2 bottles of liquor and club soda for under 20 bucks. and you are set. 20 bucks for probably 20 mind erasers. thats alot of fuckin drinking.

[jaymay15]

Jaymay needs to write a book on drinks.
I probably should.

I could sell it on amazon.

[StarkofDoom]

I would buy one and keep it close to my heart!

[Omicron88]

I love you

[jaymay15]

carbomb added

[Dyer's Eve]

Dyer's Death Dealer


This is guaranteed to knock your ass out and make you an alcoholic all at the same time. It takes someone with a decent tolerance to even handle it. You might think putting all of this together will taste like shit, but trust me it actually tastes good.

The ingredients (yea it will stagger you):

A 2 liter bottle of Sprite (for multiple glasses)
Bottle of Blue Curacao
Bottle of Gin (preferrably some decent stuff)
Bottle of Malibu
Some Sweet and Sour mix
Bottle of Tequila (Get the good stuff please)
Bottle of Vodka (Good stuff is a must)


Now just get a plastic cup and put the following amounts in
1.5 oz is usually one shot (I sometimes double all these).

1.5 oz Lemon Lime Soda
1.5 oz Blue Curacao
1.5 oz Gin
1.5 oz Light Rum
2.0 oz Sweet and Sour mix
4.5 oz Tequila
1.5 oz Vodka

Enjoy the world of alcoholism.

[jaymay15]

butterball (of death) added

[jaymay15]

Dyer's Death Dealer


This is guaranteed to knock your ass out and make you an alcoholic all at the same time. It takes someone with a decent tolerance to even handle it. You might think putting all of this together will taste like shit, but trust me it actually tastes good.

The ingredients (yea it will stagger you):

A 2 liter bottle of Sprite (for multiple glasses)
Bottle of Blue Curacao
Bottle of Gin (preferrably some decent stuff)
Bottle of Malibu
Some Sweet and Sour mix
Bottle of Tequila (Get the good stuff please)
Bottle of Vodka (Good stuff is a must)


Now just get a plastic cup and put the following amounts in
1.5 oz is usually one shot (I sometimes double all these).

1.5 oz Lemon Lime Soda
1.5 oz Blue Curacao
1.5 oz Gin
1.5 oz Light Rum
2.0 oz Sweet and Sour mix
4.5 oz Tequila
1.5 oz Vodka

Enjoy the world of alcoholism.
yeah that just doenst sound good.

its hard to guage what it would taste like.

[jaymay15]

ive added enough summer drinks, but maybe surfer on acid should be added.

its a pretty good summer drink.


edit: added it

[Dyer's Eve]

yeah that just doenst sound good.

its hard to guage what it would taste like.
Pure death!

I'm an alcoholic...I'll drink just about anything.

[Bighead]

hmm these carbombs are interesting.

[jaymay15]

ohhhh gonna add a snakebite because they are so god damn good


edit: added

[Dyer's Eve]

ohhhh gonna add a snakebite because they are so god damn good
Ooooohhh ohhhhh yea I need that recipe.

[jaymay15]

for people reading this at a later date:

make suggestions. it may remind me of a jaymay recipe i forgot.

[Noodle Boy]

What? I thought a snakebite was lager, cider and blackcurrant?

[jaymay15]

What? I thought a snakebite was lager, cider and blackcurrant?
not in the states, wierdo

[Wayward]

Its real simple. Its a buttery nipple. EXTRA LARGE VERSION. You drink this like it was beer. Yes, you heard me, you drink this shot like it is beer. If you dont, its not a jaymay butterball. Its a buttery nipple. Harmless shot that girlies love.
You're insane.

[jaymay15]

You're insane.
Its why I can make my own list and tell others how to party. Because boundaries are my starting point.


Seriously though, dont do the butterball. I had a lapse of guilt, someone might do one and die. Im 240lb's, i can handle that much liquor without going into alchol-eppileptic shock.

[Dyer's Eve]

Its why I can make my own list and tell others how to party. Because boundaries are my starting point.


Seriously though, dont do the butterball. I had a lapse of guilt, someone might do one and die. Im 240lb's, i can handle that much liquor without going into alchol-eppileptic shock.
Haha I'm gonna try it tonight.

[jaymay15]

Haha I'm gonna try it tonight.
ok remember, a big glass of it is how you do it.



be careful.

[Dyer's Eve]

ok remember, a big glass of it is how you do it.



be careful.
I live life on the edge!

[jaymay15]

I live life on the edge!
YOU AND ME BOTH!!!


lock the gun up. just incase.

[StarkofDoom]

I will do the Butterball one day. Maybe not this weekend, hell maybe not this month, but I will do one.

[jaymay15]

oh, i shall add something else to the list. it memorium of a lost friend. :(

[jaymay15]

your guys only job is to tell me experiences if you happen to use one of my recipies.

specifically....wait all of them. they are all good.

[Ewoky]

Yay! New things to try over the summer :melvin:

[Stryfe]

I'm headed to Fairfield, CT for the night to booze it up with some friends, I think I'll have to bring a few recipes. :melvin:

EDIT: I'm thinking Mind Erasers.

[teuf]

YOU AND ME BOTH!!!

lock the gun up. just incase.in other news, a Georgia man was arrested tonight for killing seven of his neighbours...

[lollypop]

Haha I'm gonna try it tonight.

So how did that end up?

[teuf]

So how did that end up?it's 8:40pm here...

you won't hear about anything happening for another 14 hours.

[Cronk]

Hmmm... I'm gonna have to try your take on the mind eraser. The older I get, the less foo-fooey my drinks get, and the less work I want to put into them at the end of a rough day/night. This looks simple enough to make, and still strong enough to destroy conscious thought without tasting like battery acid.

[Dyer's Eve]

Shoot me now...please...

[Wayward]

Shoot me now...please...
He's alive!

[teuf]

Shoot me now...please...where is your god now, dyers?

[Dyer's Eve]

where is your god now, dyers?
First time I have ever blacked out from drinking, people please listen to Jaymay's warnings...he knows his stuff.

I ended up passed out in my friend's yard with only my boxers on.

[StarkofDoom]

What did you drink?

[teuf]

What did you drink?he did the Jaymay Butterball.


my question is, how much did you drink?

[StarkofDoom]

he did the Jaymay Butterball.


my question is, how much did you drink?
Ahhhhh, what did he have before it and after it......

[teuf]

Ahhhhh, what did he have before it and after it......knowing dyers? nothing.

[jaymay15]

I dont fuck around.

Oh hey welshy, on monday ill put something up on the art of shotgunning beers. I shotgunned 10 beers last night in an hour.


And prior to that, I went out for a friends 21st bday party. I got her to puke on shot 14 of 21. THANKS FOR COMING.


dyers, drink alot of water man.

[jaymay15]

oh i have a new recipe to add that involves graves, aka everclear.


oh and i found the joy in crunk juice with 151. a deady concoction that tastes like orange pop. im not sure which faggot bought crunk juice, but i made sure that while i was drinking a gallon of it, i called him every fag name in the book.

oh and i caught myself just in time. i started showing some 17 or 18 year old girl how to do shots of tequila. i smartened up and walked away. morale victory for me.

[Cronk]

Jaymay... I'm shocked. That's a huge moral victory for you. I'm speechless...

[Honeyfugler]

our little guy is finally becoming a man. *sniffles*

[Cronk]

our little guy is finally becoming a man. *sniffles*

Our man is finally leaving the little girls alone.

[Honeyfugler]

That fucking prick is finally becoming a pussy.

[Honeyfugler]

That fucking prick is finally becoming a pussy.
too harsh?

[Cronk]

too harsh?

I don't think your words are gonna make him sob softly into his pillow tonight, if that's what you mean.

[Dyer's Eve]

Haha Jay just called me to see if I survived.

<3

[jaymay15]

I was tellin dyers, if a smaller person such as ewoky or whatnot tries the butterball, they outcome might be a bit more tragic. We are both 200+, so we have our fat to soak up the juice.

[Cerven]

I seriously was considering the butterball too ( I weigh in about 155.. ), I guess I won't. :lol:

[jaymay15]

I seriously was considering the butterball too ( I weigh in about 155.. ), I guess I won't. :lol:
You will live if you only do one and dont do anything else. You might not even blackout.

Dyers told me something retarded like he did a couple or a few. I dont know how he is still alive.

[Cerven]

You will live if you only do one and dont do anything else. You might not even blackout.

Dyers told me something retarded like he did a couple or a few. I dont know how he is still alive.
Alabama blood 'does' things..

But yeah, after I read it, I believe I could do 'one', and not completely lose it ( meaning that and 'nothing' else ). I've got a pretty high tolerance, but tolerance only goes so far when you weigh as little as I do.

[Dyer's Eve]

You will live if you only do one and dont do anything else. You might not even blackout.

Dyers told me something retarded like he did a couple or a few. I dont know how he is still alive.
Alcoholics never die, we just survive!

[jaymay15]

Alcoholics never die, we just survive!
i love your accent. it is fucking fabulous.


1bades is a decently light southern accent, aka florida accent.

yours is straight up awesome.

[Dyer's Eve]

i love your accent. it is fucking fabulous.


1bades is a decently light southern accent, aka florida accent.

yours is straight up awesome.
Haha, and I'm Georgia not Alabama Cerv.

[jaymay15]

Haha, and I'm Georgia not Alabama Cerv.
you sounded exactly like i thought you would



was i too hyper? too bubbling with enthusiasm? too nice? talked too fast?



all match my e-personality

[Dyer's Eve]

you sounded exactly like i thought you would



was i too hyper? too bubbling with enthusiasm? too nice? talked too fast?



all match my e-personality
You sounded like a cuddly teddy bear!

Was my Southern accent really that apparent?

[jaymay15]

You sounded like a cuddly teddy bear!

Was my Southern accent really that apparent?
yes, but im from ohio. we dont have much of an accent, so all others accents really stand out to us.

after 1 week in florida, i start to get the florida tang to my voice.

[Cerven]

Haha, and I'm Georgia not Alabama Cerv.
God dammit I knew that.

And yes, Dyers' accent is le awesome.

[DUATE]

Oh hey welshy, on monday ill put something up on the art of shotgunning beers.
I eagerly await this.

[Rodd]

for people reading this at a later date:

make suggestions. it may remind me of a jaymay recipe i forgot.

I drink Bloody Marys like most Grandmas...

How does Jaymay make one?

[Scorned]

I'm gonna do a hairy buffalo at a party we're planning next month. I've been looking for a good recipe, and this one is just that! Thanks Jay!

[Bighead]

The butterball has aroused my suspicsion.....umm....look i wanna drink it can I?

[jaymay15]

The butterball has aroused my suspicsion.....umm....look i wanna drink it can I?
i think if anyone can, you can.

[jaymay15]

hey rodd, not sure how much i can help you with the bloody mary.

i only drink those when they are offered to me, or when im so hungover that i need the morning capper to smooth things out.

when i do make them, i put a shit load of vodka, a pre-mixed thing of v8 (spicy something), a squirt of hot sauce and a squirt of worchester (barely a drop, its so strong). thats about all i do that i can remember offhand.

[Ewoky]

If I were to try some of these...which ones should I stay away from? I weigh like 115.

[Dakk]

If I were to try some of these...which ones should I stay away from? I weigh like 115.
None.

And drunk pixplz. :shifty:

[Omicron88]

If I were to try some of these...which ones should I stay away from? I weigh like 115.start with a couple mind erasers and then do a butterball or two

[jaymay15]

If I were to try some of these...which ones should I stay away from? I weigh like 115.
send me pics of your naked body, ill examine them and tell you what your body can and cant handle.

[Dyer's Eve]

send me pics of your naked body, ill examine them and tell you what your body can and cant handle.
She's a fun drunk, trust me!

[Cronk]

I'll be trying a butterball. If I feel in danger of either me or my liver dying, I'll pull out.

Jaymay, any rules on how much? You never really specified. Just a glass of it?

[Dyer's Eve]

I'll be trying a butterball. If I feel in danger of either me or my liver dying, I'll pull out.

Jaymay, any rules on how much? You never really specified. Just a glass of it?
I just used one of those clear plastic cup things. But dude I'm telling you I've got one hell of a tolerance but that thing will put anyone down.

[Cronk]

I just used one of those clear plastic cup things. But dude I'm telling you I've got one hell of a tolerance but that thing will put anyone down.

I don't think I could do it in Denver... my tolerance just isn't up to snuff with this altitude. I'd love to have an opportunity to try it when I go back east and hit the coast tho.... :shifty:

[jaymay15]

Umm when I meant glass, I meant straight up pint glass.

Now this explains why Dyers was able to do however many he did, those are half the size of a pint glass.


Probably the safer way is what Dyers did, but not how many Dyers did. he is a beast.

[Dyer's Eve]

Umm when I meant glass, I meant straight up pint glass.

Now this explains why Dyers was able to do however many he did, those are half the size of a pint glass.


Probably the safer way is what Dyers did, but not how many Dyers did. he is a beast.
I have such a tolerance my mom drank while pregnant with me and I did not receive fetal alcohol syndrome.

:lol:

[Cronk]

Umm when I meant glass, I meant straight up pint glass.

Now this explains why Dyers was able to do however many he did, those are half the size of a pint glass.


Probably the safer way is what Dyers did, but not how many Dyers did. he is a beast.

I must try this once I get down to lower climes!

And jay, you should try living in a high alt. place sometime... I save a bloody fortune on booze living up here. It doesn't take nearly as much to get me plowed.

[jaymay15]

I have such a tolerance my mom drank while pregnant with me and I did not receive fetal alcohol syndrome.

:lol:
I have such a strong personality because I would talk shit to all the dicks the size of me while my mom was being a whore while she was pregnant.

Kinda like nowadays.

[jaymay15]

I must try this once I get down to lower climes!

And jay, you should try living in a high alt. place sometime... I save a bloody fortune on booze living up here. It doesn't take nearly as much to get me plowed.
Thats probably true. It would save money. However Ive been pretty good at cost cutting my booze bill. It really isnt that bad. Im perfecting the art of free booze, while it coming off like I always buy.


Breakdown: If you keep telling people you dont want beers at parties, they will keep giving them to you, and they will think you are being generous. If someone offers to buy a round, you go around and ask what others want. They think you are buying it for them, but really you are just relaying the information.


Its quite simple actually. I spent 23 dollars the other night. I got 6 shots out of it, 3 huge glasses of some 151 energy drink mix, and 8 beers.

And 23 bucks could have botten me 2 bottles of smirnoff, which would have lasted me a month. (i only drink on weekends)

[dnallivah]

jaymay is a man of great taste and knows how to make a true screwdriver.

*also omg i haven't had a good mind eraser in years..been awhile since i've had a buttery nipple as well. but mind erasers = <3

[jaymay15]

im good


its true

[Cronk]

Yea, I've gotten better at it over the years as well. I've found more economical ways to get plowed, which usually involves drinking at people's houses before/after the bars.

[jaymay15]

Yea, I've gotten better at it over the years as well. I've found more economical ways to get plowed, which usually involves drinking at people's houses before/after the bars.
yeah ALWAYS drink before you go out.

save so much money that way.

[Reptile]

i love your accent. it is fucking fabulous.


1bades is a decently light southern accent, aka florida accent.

yours is straight up awesome.

I've been told I have the worst accent on here :(

[Dyer's Eve]

I've been told I have the worst accent on here :(
Mine is a sophisticated southern accent, yours is scary as hell man.

[Reptile]

Mine is a sophisticated southern accent, yours is scary as hell man.

I don't recall ever talking to you! it must be pretty bad if you've never even heard it and you know :( woe is me

[Dyer's Eve]

I don't recall ever talking to you! it must be pretty bad if you've never even heard it and you know :( woe is me
Dude I have heard it before, I think it was either on skype or ventrillo.

[Ewoky]

So I stay away from the mind eraser and butterball, right?

[Dakk]

So I stay away from the mind eraser and butterball, right?
Only if you don't have a camera handy. :shifty:

[Dyer's Eve]

So I stay away from the mind eraser and butterball, right?
As a professional alcoholic, I will tell you yes.

[dnallivah]

So I stay away from the mind eraser and butterball, right?

FUCK NO!

buttery nipples are some of the best tasting girly shots out there.


...

well if you don't want to get raped, maybe you should stay away from the mind eraser.

[Dyer's Eve]

FUCK NO!

buttery nipples are some of the best tasting girly shots out there.


...

well if you don't want to get raped, maybe you should stay away from the mind eraser.
Dnal...the butterball is a pint that is to be killed...not sipped.

[dnallivah]

Dnal...the butterball is a pint that is to be killed...not sipped.

so?

oh wait, it's ewoky...



damn i wish i had a butterball right now :(

[Ewoky]

I don't sip hard liquor, groce.

[StarkofDoom]

I don't sip hard liquor, groce.
There are some you might, there are a couple drinks that are pretty much pure hard liquor that are really tasty.

[StarkofDoom]

I wish I had the stuff for a B-52 right now.

[Noodle Boy]

There are some you might, there are a couple drinks that are pretty much pure hard liquor that are really tasty.
Us underage drinkers cannot afford such fancy drinks.

However, the other night I bought Smirnoff (I know this isn't exactly top brand) Vodka instead of the nasty stuff that is like three times cheaper and I could definitely taste the difference. It seemed to get me drunker than usual too.

[Omicron88]

thanks for the recipes, jm, holy shit. my parents are out of town this weekend so i had some friends over and made mind erasers, i had one of those with three shots of each, good imported kahlua and alright smirnoff vodka, and then i had a vodka tonic that was 5/5ths vodka and a little club soda, and then we did the same thing with kahlua (tasted like chocolate, it was fucking good). i had the whole 'i'm not drunk yet so i'm gonna keep drinking' thing going and the the mind eraser hit me and i was like holy shit. it was just like that, it took a good 15 minutes but i felt it right when i hit me and i don't remember anything after that, but my friends stayed sober to watch me. they said i called my girlfriend and left her a 5 minute voicemail and then got really pissed when it cut me off, and that i was running and jumping in my backyard, but everytime i jumped i hit the ground sort of on my side and rolled for a little bit. i didnt eat anything all day and i'm about 120lbs, by the way (it's not that i don't eat, my metabolism is just fucked up right now).

oh yeah, no hangover either. i think it's just because i threw up twice during the night, tho.

[jaymay15]

thanks for the recipes, jm, holy shit. my parents are out of town this weekend so i had some friends over and made mind erasers, i had one of those with three shots of each, good imported kahlua and alright smirnoff vodka, and then i had a vodka tonic that was 5/5ths vodka and a little club soda, and then we did the same thing with kahlua (tasted like chocolate, it was fucking good). i had the whole 'i'm not drunk yet so i'm gonna keep drinking' thing going and the the mind eraser hit me and i was like holy shit. it was just like that, it took a good 15 minutes but i felt it right when i hit me and i don't remember anything after that, but my friends stayed sober to watch me. they said i called my girlfriend and left her a 5 minute voicemail and then got really pissed when it cut me off, and that i was running and jumping in my backyard, but everytime i jumped i hit the ground sort of on my side and rolled for a little bit. i didnt eat anything all day and i'm about 120lbs, by the way (it's not that i don't eat, my metabolism is just fucked up right now).

oh yeah, no hangover either. i think it's just because i threw up twice during the night, tho.
mind erasers got their name for a good reason.


glad to see you had fun though! and puking always helps hangovers.


i wish i had puked last night. i would have a headache alone for sleeping on the floor and talking to so many people, but doing crown shots with the bachelor sure made things go smoother. until today.

[jaymay15]

i made a new drink over this weekend.

A Faggots Kiss

1 shot of grand maunier
1 shot tequila
1 shot crown royal



it doesnt taste very good. :( but its all we had to work with. but its strong!

[StarkofDoom]

That sounds horrible......

[jaymay15]

yah it pretty much is.


hence the name

[Omicron88]

I found a bunch of bloody bruises on my elbows and knees and my chin is really sore, by the way. No one is telling me what I did but i think i tried to jump over a 6ft fence

i fucking love this drink

[jaymay15]

I found a bunch of bloody bruises on my elbows and knees and my chin is really sore, by the way. No one is telling me what I did but i think i tried to jump over a 6ft fence

i fucking love this drink
haha :melvin:


in 2 weeks im having a mind eraser party.

or maybe saturday, if the ingredients are there at the reception. weddings are fantastic.

[DUATE]

:lol: nice red x you keep posting, moron

[.45ACP]

DURDURDUR BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS LOL THATS NOT OLD RITE?

[DUATE]

:lol:

idiot, learn how to post

[Tasticle]

jay, is it cool for others to contribute to this thread?

[Cronk]

jay, is it cool for others to contribute to this thread?

Go for it. He'd be a pretty shitty bartender if he were closed-minded about drinks.

Hmmm... I wouldn't mind crushing my brain into oblivion tomorrow night with one of those butterballs :shifty:

[jaymay15]

jay, is it cool for others to contribute to this thread?
sure thing man. im not against it!


live and be free!

[jaymay15]

Go for it. He'd be a pretty shitty bartender if he were closed-minded about drinks.

Hmmm... I wouldn't mind crushing my brain into oblivion tomorrow night with one of those butterballs :shifty:
the best part is, you dont feel like throwing up when you drink it


unless you hate buttersotch of course. but i mean, you dont get the 'omg i just drank a glass of whiskey' feeling.


its the easiest shitfaced in 5 minutes youll ever have.

[Tasticle]

cool

tasticular wisers and diet

may not be on par with jay's elaborate recipes, but this one is easy, delicious, and it will get you shitfaced.

pint glass
3 shots wisers
3 shots water
fill to top with diet cola

feel free to adjust for more liquor if you want it stronger. as it is, you get the great whiskey taste without the bite, and you're still drinking a triple. not to mention you're ingesting an equal amount of water as you are liquor, so it will help keep you hydrated and reduce any hangover. and the diet cola just makes it taste better.

this drink can be sipped over time (i'd recommend adding ice if you're doing that), or gulped like beer, which is how i like it.

[The Oona Penguin]

ok what can I make that's good out of:

Crown Royal
Gin
Patrone
Raspberry Liqour

Oh and I think there's some Jack still in the freezer.

[Tasticle]

makeshift long island ice tea

this one can be expensive (at least in canada), but it's worth it. you can substitute any of the recommended brands with cheaper stuff if you prefer you ingest way more alcohol than you realize with this drink.

-a large slurpee cup (or another LARGE vessel) from 7/11
-a slurpee straw (not necessarily with the scoop at the end ... just a thick straw)
-1 bottle of smirnoff
-1 bottle jose cuervo
-1 bottle beafeater gin
-1 bottle bacardi light rum (or shit, 151 if you're feeling ballsy)
-1 bottle triple sec (optional - i never bother because they didnt have it at the liquor store i shopped at)
-1 bottle mott's margarita mix, or sweet and sour mix, or something similar
-1 bottle coke
-ice

fill the cup (this should be a large ass cup - like a liter) about 1/4 with ice. now add roughly equal (i dont measure, i just estimate. it makes every drink an adventure) parts of each of the liqours until the cup is about 4/5 full. split the last 1/5 of the cup with 3/4 sweet and sour mix, 1/4 coke.

drink this drink quickly with the straw. you dont have to chug it all down at once, obviously, but drink it over a span of no more than 5-10 minutes (thats pretty quick for a liter of pure liquor).

its important that you dont drink another one for quite awhile. these bad boys dont affect me much, but they can kill lesser men (i'm 250 lbs).

and dont be intimidated by the ingredients - it tastes like candy.

[Tasticle]

the patented jagbeer bomb

this one is easy and manly. and kinda gross. i invented it on st. patrick's day.

-1 pint beer (your choice)
-1 shot jager

drink about 1/3 of the beer so you have enough capacity for the shot. drop the shot in the beer. chug it all back.

it tastes a bit like hairspray, but it's awesome at the same time.

[Ewoky]

Screwdriver tonight.

[Noodle Boy]

Here's what I drink:

Noodle Boy's Economy Screwdrivers

Ingredients:
1 litre of the cheapest, shittiest vodka you can find
3 litres of the cheapest, shittiest OJ you can find

Total cost: < £10

Pour two shots of vodka into an average sized glass and then fill to the top with orange juice. Drink as quickly as possible. Increase ratio of vodka to orange juice as intoxication level increases.

Note: I wouldn't recommend drinking a whole litre of vodka to yourself.

[Incognito]

Rum and Pineapple juice.

[jaymay15]

id imagine that shots of crown with raspberry liquor might be ok.

crown is so god damn smooth, it just might work.


and what kind of raspberry liquor? is this blackhaus, or what?



crown and coke is a spectacular mixed drink. get some coke, enjoy the night.




coca cola. not cocaine.

[StarkofDoom]

Screwdriver, it was good. I had 5 and then passed out. I think I cryed at some point. :emo:


EDIT: Also as all screw drivers do it slowly became more and more vodka, I went through 3/5 a bottle of Grey Goose

[jaymay15]

Screwdriver, it was good. I had 5 and then passed out. I think I cryed at some point. :emo:


EDIT: Also as all screw drivers do it slowly became more and more vodka, I went through 3/5 a bottle of Grey Goose
mine dont

i keep the same clear consistency the whole time.

[The Oona Penguin]

razzmatazz

[StarkofDoom]

mine dont

i keep the same clear consistency the whole time.
upon further review I don't think mine had te clear consistency till the 2nd or third.

[Darth Nagus]

So I tried the butterball last night...

And lets just say I woke up with my head and pubic area shaved.

And I have yet to find out who the culprit is. :jebus:

Not a bad drink really. However I think I will wait for my hair to grow back before I try another.

[Reptile]

So I tried the butterball last night...

And lets just say I woke up with my head and pubic area shaved.

And I have yet to find out who the culprit is. :jebus:

Not a bad drink really. However I think I will wait for my hair to grow back before I try another.

lol I bet u luk like powder!

[Cronk]

For the record, I don't care how funny it might be... I'd never shave a dude's pubes, not even to leave some known fag's name shaved into it.

[jaymay15]

whats wrong with having your pubes shaved?

no crabs, man.

[Cronk]

whats wrong with having your pubes shaved?

no crabs, man.

I'd consider shaving my own... but another man's? Sorry, that's gay.

[Dakk]

whats wrong with having your pubes shaved?

no crabs, man.
Let Stryfe shave your pubes when you go drinking with him.

[jaymay15]

Let Stryfe shave your pubes when you go drinking with him.
you havent been paying attention



there is nothing to shave

[jaymay15]

I'd consider shaving my own... but another man's? Sorry, that's gay.
yeah ok obviously youve never tried to shave the underside of your balls with a straight razor

:roll:

[Cronk]

yeah ok obviously youve never tried to shave the underside of your balls with a straight razor

:roll:

this is correct. my fear of ingrown hairs in sensitive areas, and all.

edit: I do love how you make me sound like a moron for not wanting to shave my balls tho :)

[StarkofDoom]

yeah ok obviously youve never tried to shave the underside of your balls with a straight razor

:roll:
Hmmmmmmmm I think using a straight razor is a bit much. Thats just crazy.

[JoshuiMora]

should get the laser treatment done, that shit never grows back.

[StarkofDoom]

Lasers are not allowed near my testicles.

[JoshuiMora]

Lasers are not allowed near my testicles.

it tickles.

[Cronk]

it tickles.

Ow! My sperm!

Wow neat! Mind if I try that again?

Huh... it didn't hurt that time.

[JoshuiMora]

Ow! My sperm!

Wow neat! Mind if I try that again?

Huh... it didn't hurt that time.

the burning sensation lets you know it's working.

[StarkofDoom]

Someone once suggested Nair.... that as well seems dangerous.

[Noodle Boy]

Someone once suggested Nair.... that as well seems dangerous.
It's not, trust me.

[JoshuiMora]

Someone once suggested Nair.... that as well seems dangerous.

get the spray on stuff that kills the hair, not the wax...

the wax is the kind you jerk off...

[StarkofDoom]

Nope still not gonna do it. Nair is chemicals and that scares me. Plus I don't trust GAT at all.

[jaymay15]

you puss

get an electric beard trimmer


go nuts. LITERALLY LOLZ

[StarkofDoom]

you puss

get an electric beard trimmer


go nuts. LITERALLY LOLZ
.... Thats what I use, and a razor I bought specifically for the task!

[jaymay15]

.... Thats what I use, and a razor I bought specifically for the task!
do you catch yourself smelling it after you are done?

















what?

[Welshy]

Fun Fact: In Australia, a buttery nipple is called a Cock-sucking Cowboy.

Second fun fact: I'm going to try the butterball of doom. It'll probably kill me.

[jaymay15]

Fun Fact: In Australia, a buttery nipple is called a Cock-sucking Cowboy.

Second fun fact: I'm going to try the butterball of doom. It'll probably kill me.
it might


but in a manly way

[jaymay15]

i think ive already outdrank myself this year than i did all of last summer


:(

[jaymay15]

my drunk adventures shall keep this page alive


after shotgunning beers and doing shots of bacardi, we decided to head out to the local bw-3's that we can walk to. after doing shots of jack and a jagerbomb, i began dancing. in bw3's. at 1 in the morning. and somehow we were celebrating another of my friends 21st party, but i think its like the 3rd time weve celebrated it.

after hitting on the waitress at bw's, and getting her to do a shot with us, i was feeling pretty good. we went to steak and shake at 3 in the morning, and i started hitting on the waitress there. i got a free shake, which i didnt even touch.

ive still got it. :(

[Welshy]

The shake?

[jaymay15]

The shake?
:lol:


when you get to our age and in a relationship, you keep souvenirs. the shake looks better in my freezer than the bag under my pillow filled with blonde hair.

[Rodd]

Jay I've been meaning to ask you this for some time...

The Garnish. Is it okay to eat? Is it poor form?

[jaymay15]

Jay I've been meaning to ask you this for some time...

The Garnish. Is it okay to eat? Is it poor form?
as in like an orange slice with your screwdriver?


eat it. who the fuck cares about form. im a classy guy, but im no ritz regular.

[jaymay15]

the summer is 2/3rds over.

Dont forget to try em all!

[DUATE]

the summer is 2/3rds over.

Dont forget to try em all!
AH!


I havent even tried one!


Except the strong screwdriver. That's my normal screwdriver. I have a chance to particpate in one of these in a day or two. but which one....

[soft cries]

So far this summer I've drank 2 bottles of Captain Morgan's, 1 bottle Morgan's spiced, Stupid amounts of Newcastle Brown Ale and a hell of a lot of pints of various lager. Does that count?

[jaymay15]

AH!


I havent even tried one!


Except the strong screwdriver. That's my normal screwdriver. I have a chance to particpate in one of these in a day or two. but which one....
mind eraser if i had the choice


its a proven commodity.

however any will do.

[jaymay15]

So far this summer I've drank 2 bottles of Captain Morgan's, 1 bottle Morgan's spiced, Stupid amounts of Newcastle Brown Ale and a hell of a lot of pints of various lager. Does that count?
no

try my list, brit