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Pope Larry
01-07-2007, 08:54 PM
http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/5506/steamersidev1i2copyib2.jpg (http://www.theweeklysteamer.com)
www.theweeklysteamer.com (http://www.theweeklysteamer.com)

http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/2030/tehhorrorhu6.jpg
__________

Letter From the Editor

This week has been really hectic, so I forwent the idea of a New Years' Steamer and a regular edition Steamer, so this issue's focus will be on what Duate has dubbed "Y2K7." Before anyone reads anything, I have a special advertisement to put out. I need a few well-experienced individuals for some regular forum raids, it's been called to my attention that the raiding forum lost its appeal and use, so I want to ressurrect a band of regular raiders that used to exist a couple years ago. Odds are we'd have a raid once a week, organized over AIM/MSN, with all sorts of different tactics and stuff. Anyways, part of this week's edition was made before Y2K7, and part after, so if you notice any disparities, that's why. If you have any questions, comments, red herrings, e-mail me at editor@theweeklysteamer.com


__________
TABLE OF CONTENTS
(tip: use control F to skip to a certain section)


GAT NEWS
-GAT DOWN........................................A01
-GAT Chat Tries To Make Sense of Things..........A02
-Hordes of GATers flock to AMB...................A03
-Watching Paint Dry..............................A04
-GAT back up.....................................A05
MONJOE'S WORLD NEWS
-Deaths..........................................B0 1
-Events..........................................B0 2
OPINION
-Interview with Teuf.............................C01
REVIEWS
-Duate's Steak Review............................D01
-Duate's Grilled Cheese Review...................D02
-Duate's American Cheese Review..................D03
-Skinned Deep....................................D04
-The Fountain....................................D05
ENTERTAINMENT
-Comic...........................................E0 1
-Horoscopes......................................E0 2
-YouTube Videos..................................E03

__________

GAT NEWS

A01

GAT DOWN
Confused masses demand information

GENERAL ANY TOPIC, GAT—In the (relatively) early hours of Tuesday, January 2nd, bewildered GATers turned on their computers only to find their e-motherland had mysteriously vanished. Said Monjoe, "[09:47:58] im extremely confused" (AIM). Other comments on the situation include "[17:45:44] omg wtf where's gat?" (Keiyla AIM), "[14:20:09] what happened to GAT?" (Kryzilya AIM), "[11:54:30] ok then. well, GAT had to fall so I could win again!" (Tanizaki AIM), and "[18:40:17] :haha!
[18:40:17] eevante: you can't stop us!
[18:40:21] : bahaha
[18:40:33] : we're winning the bid for .com
[18:40:52] : better get lawyer kzin to file a suit!
[18:40:54] : o wait!" (starscream AIM).

Source: AIM

A02

GAT Chat Tries To Make Sense of Things
Generally fails due to AMB infiltration

AIM, THE INTERNET—An AIM chat room created by a GATer in the aftermath of GAT's downfall prompted many questions from different posters, as well as drawing an AMB infiltrator with less-than-good intentions. After a few minutes into the conversation, many people realized that the chat would be leaked to AMB, rendering any efforts to build a temporary forum useless. The chat turned into a GAT guerilla counterattack, with some domain names being suggested to the GATers' hopes that AMB would buy out the domain needlessly, and thus spend more money on fruitless purposes.

Source: AMB thread (http://anothermessageboard.com/showthread.php?t=6294)

A03

Hordes of GATers flock to AMB
New forum divided over diasporic refugees

GENERAL, AMB—Throughout an entire day, GAT refugees fled to the AMB forums, unsure of the future. The AMB admin, Max Power, welcomed the new "gatugees" with open arms, but others were less excited. Notorious trolls Tanizaki and starscream606 discouraged most newcomers, getting into arguments (Tanizaki) and calling them "n00bsh17" (starscream606). Users Scorned and Richard Fannin quickly took the opportunity to amalgamate as many arcade high scores as possible, stealing the first and second place spots from the AMBers.

Source: http://www.anothermessageboard.com/


A04

When Watching Paint Dry is More Interesting
Saturday, January 7, 2007
By: Anon GAT submitter

GENERAL ANY TOPIC, GAT—With the late payment of GAT’s bills, 2007 ushered in a temporary downtime for the message board we call home. While most members seem to have taken a four day holiday from harassing D8alus, other members decided to test the waters of GAT’s pseudo-rival upstart: Another Message Board. GATers were welcomed with open arms while being trashed at the same time for the downfall of our board. With AMB “president” Starscream regurgitating, “we win, noobshi7s,” though most other AMB members were more tactful. The four days of drama at AMB made for some excitement they’re not likely to see for a long time. The mighty Jeebs decided to get drunk instead of posting at AMB, stating, “it was nothing but ‘LOL I WIN AGAIN FANS I BROUGHT DOWN GAT ME ME ME’.” Omicron88 labeled AMB as “so fucking boring,” opting to show less tact than others like Duate who added that watching paint dry was more fun than posting at AMB. Military-Man Teuf poked fun at the low number of posts AMB has every day, and was banned by their mods who he claimed were “wound tight.” In the end, most GATers agree that spending time at AMB is a waste of time. There is a reason people like Starscream, Zethon, and Tanizaki aren’t welcome at GAT: they’re all shittier posters than D8alus.


A05

GAT back up
GAT Junkies relieved to be reunited with addiction

GENERAL ANY TOPIC, GAT—In the later hours of January 6, the GAT came back after a 4 day downtime. Business quickly returned to normal after a few emotional posts, and most members returned after a few hours after it returned. Within 24 hours, a new banning seems possible - TKP refused to give a Secret Santa gift even though he had received a *hand made* present made by Keiyla. A ban seems probable, as Teuf and Jeebs have both in the past strongly felt for perma-banning members who stiff their Secret Santa recipients.

Source: GAT, GAT thread (http://www.generalanytopic.com/forum/showthread.php?t=133098)



__________

MONJOE'S WORLD NEWS

B01
Deaths

Coretta Scott King

1st black woman to marry Martin Luther King. A huge milestone in civil rights.

Don Knotts

You know when you see him on TV and you go "hes still alive!?" Well, that's not gonna happen anymore.

Steve Irwin

The crocodiles sent out a hitman, err, hitstingray to get rid of the man that had terrorized the reptile population. The Bears are suspected to have supported this unholy act.

Peter Boyle

Lets hope Dr. Frankenstein (pronounced Fronkenshteen) can bring him back again.

James Brown
Starred in Rocky IV and both Blues Brother movies. Truly an American hero.

Geral Ford
Became President when Nixon didn't feel like it, didn't do much, people got pissed and elected a guy that did even less. Hooray democracy!

Saddam Hussein
Finally theres a death that we can cheer about!

B02
Events

Samuel Alito ushered in as a Justice
It took Bush a 2nd try to choose someone that was actually even close to qualifying, good for him.

Winter Olympics held in Italy
US didn't have enough black people to get all the gold medals. Don't worry though, global warming is working on it.

World Cup
Zidane was kind enough to headbutt the Italian team into the champion spot but since Italy never beat the US they must

concede the trophy to America. USA! USA! USA!

Palestine have elections
They did it wrong.

Hezbollah get all up in Israel's fries
Israel was all like "It's go time!" and Lebanon was all like "Oh noes pwnT by Syria" and the UN was like "I don't want any kickassery to take place."

Nazi Pope quotes Byzantine Emperor
Islamic radicals drown in irony.

Democrats steal Congress
The reason why it was the first brown christmas in northwestern Wisconsin since 1973. You fuckers owe me some snow!

Robert Gates takes Rumsfeld's place
When the going gets tough get someone from Kansas.

__________

OPINION

C01

One GATer's Take on Y2K7

[22:06:11] The Weekly Steamer: Teuf!?
[22:06:19] : oosesl?
[22:06:27] The Weekly Steamer: quite!
[22:06:34] : surely
[22:07:07] The Weekly Steamer: you know this whole gat being down thing?
[22:07:14] : what of it?
[22:07:31] : i know it's down, and i know that it's supposedly coming back up
[22:07:48] : but other than that, i'm in the dark
[22:08:10] The Weekly Steamer: so no opinions on it?
[22:09:05] : meh
[22:09:09] : and you can quote me
[22:09:22] The Weekly Steamer: that's what I'm planning on!
[22:09:22] : i just spent six years on gat, man
[22:09:38] : amb is a poor substitute
[22:09:48] : and i don't know how long i'll stay there
[22:10:13] The Weekly Steamer: so what do you think about AMB as compared to GAT? Like the posters, the threads, the arcade scores, the rep system, anything?
[22:10:28] : not having gat will free up some time for me...
[22:10:36] : amb vs. gat...?
[22:10:38] : mhh.
[22:10:38] The Weekly Steamer: ya
[22:10:42] : hmm...
[22:11:21] : many of the posters(pre-gat-crash) were nugaters that were expelled from gat for being shitty posters
[22:11:53] : so i naturally take it into my head that everyone at amb is subpar
[22:12:20] : but subpar for gat is something like what?- 7th tier
[22:13:38] : the threads are about the same, but too spread out. i don't want to have to hit up six different forums in order to get my daily intake. that was the beauty of gat. everything was consolidated
[22:14:16] : i didn't realize that amb had an arcade. does rhett know about this? it'd be cool to see him wtfbbqpwn all their scores
[22:15:12] : rep system is crap. the only thing i ever used it for is private comments or nsfw rep. it's pretty much pointless to me, and AMB's public rep is fucking weird shit
[22:15:36] The Weekly Steamer: hehe, yeah that was a little strange to me at first too
[22:15:45] : but that's my take


__________

REVIEWS

D01

Duate's Steak Review

The matrix is telling my brain that this steak is juicy and delicious, so I'm going to go ahead and give it a 9 out of 10. Juicy and Delicious.


D02

Duate's Grilled Cheese Review

[17:08:42] : im eating a grilled cheese right now
[17:08:48] : its ok
[17:09:15] : not the best since i had to use shitty fake american cheese but eh


D03

Duate's American Cheese Review

It sucks. It's the lamest cheese around. Lame lame lame. AUUGHHH I GOT A 404 on gat


D04

Skinned Deep
SPOILER ALERT

[17:03:01] : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0304722/
^ HILARIOUS
[17:03:10] : it's so awful
[17:03:28] The Weekly Steamer: hmmm
[17:03:30] The Weekly Steamer: what's it about?
[17:04:12] : it's a 'horror' movie...B movie...with the worst acting, plot, and everything else EVER
[17:04:18] The Weekly Steamer: excellent
[17:05:37] : one scene consists of a man with a huge brain running though NYC
[17:05:39] : NAKED
[17:05:45] The Weekly Steamer: ewww
[17:09:03] : There's also a guy in it named Plates (played by Warwick Davis of Willow, Leprechaun, etc).
[17:09:10] : He throws plates at people.
[17:09:12] : plates
[17:09:13] The Weekly Steamer: how ironic
[17:24:25] : yeah it's pretty much the worst movie ever
[17:24:32] : the main chick doesn't even go topless

Plates
http://www.skinneddeep.com/stills/images/11%20Plates.jpg

Brain
http://www.skinneddeep.com/stills/images/06%20Brain.jpg

Source: http://www.skinneddeep.com/


D05

The Fountain
SPOILER ALERT

One of the strangest films I've seen from 2006, it stars Hugh Jackman (wasn't he in like 6 movies last year?) and Rachel Weisz, it takes place in three discrete centuries. In the 16th century, Jackman plays a Spanish conquistador searching for the famed Fountain of Youth in order to help Queen and Country (Weisz and Spain). In the 21st century, he plays a scientist making breakthroughs in treating cancer, motivated to success by his wife's own cancer while she writes a book about a conquistador and his search for the fountain. In the 26th century, Jackman is a space explorer travelling to a nearby star in the hopes that its death will bring back his love to life. The film rapidly switches among the centuries but spends most of its time in the present, which is where we learn most of our information. Seeing Jackman's response to his wife's death has been one of the most emotional scenes I've seen in a 2006 film, considering everything he's willing to go through. I would give this film 4/5 stars, 8 out of 10.


__________

ENTERTAINMENT

E01
http://img379.imageshack.us/img379/4131/steamer002rh9ix1.jpg
http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/5788/gatcircus001zz9ww2.jpg

E02

Aries - When your creativity is being properly utilized, you'll find that everything else seems to magically fall into place. Keep thinking outside the box; you'll get out of this tiger pit someday.
Taurus - It's important to pay attention to your feelings, but make sure you're not rushing into a situation that could be easily sidestepped. Let your emotions cool down, and then go hit that bitch with a shovel.
Gemini - Enough with that timid little bark; it's time to show people just how to make some noise. Raise the roof. It may feel strange at first, but once you get the hang of it, you'll wonder why you were quiet for so long, small howdoyoudo or not.
Cancer - It's time to put your feet back on the ground! You've been doing tons of great work with your spirit, but now it's time to put those lessons to good use here on earth. There has just GOT to be a way to defeat that Sludge Troll even though you're only a level 3 Chaotic Good Rogue.
Leo - Someone enters your life who might be part of it forever. A new friend, lover or mentor -- the stars say that it could be any one of those three. Synchronicity happens when you let it, so keep an open mind, and try taking a shower more than once a week.
Virgo - Yes, it's true: You have a zillion important things to take care of. However, if you don't find time to enjoy life now, when exactly are you going to do it? No matter how jammed your schedule, find time for a nice relaxing masturbate party with your friends.
Libra - The stars give you a rare window of opportunity: If you move through it, you could go beyond what's expected and into the extraordinary. Think of the current restrictions as being caused by being Jewish.
Scorpio - Your desires are in the driver's seat, but the stars know the best way to get there. Relax and let them navigate. Your job is to get this car moving forward and enjoy some of the roadside attractions along the way, and hey if the stars want to give your desires a little Road Head as you go, then don't fight it.
Sagittarius - An upbeat energy fills your life, and just in time too. You're game for just about anything. Invitations for rides, jungle safaris and other extraordinary events including a swarm of angry semen flood in your box.
Capricorn - Give your plans just a little more time to gestate. It's like letting a piece of fruit ripen -- once you bite into something green and sour, it'll stay that way for good. Speaking of green and sour fruit, now might be a good time to dump that dirty whore, too.
Aquarius - Your willingness to appreciate the absurd (and to be absurd yourself) is one of your most endearing traits. Your loved ones know how lucky they are to have a true individual like you in their lives. Nah I'm kidding, everybody thinks you're a tool.
Pisces - Aren't you glad that things turned out the way they did? It didn't seem like things could work out so wonderfully, but it happened. Wait. Who is this? Oops sorry, I must have gotten the wrong number, sorry for the confusion, loser.

E03
Youtube Videos Worth Watching


Believe me, you want the little hamburger
0GOGNE0nWHk

The Ultimate Man vs. The Ultimate Meatball
cCDTIr8dRm4

What about a pointed stick?
hQI6M1WFZbo





A Few Notes:
Once again, some of the articles don't have sources.
Read the editor's letter! It has important info that could save your life.
If you have any ideas or would like to join, e-mail me at editor@theweeklysteamer.com

Kryzilya
01-07-2007, 09:00 PM
A note on Skinned Deep: buy it. Used, that is. By no means pay more than $5 for it, but if you see it for cheaper than that, get it and watch it with some friends. It's amazing.

teuf
01-07-2007, 09:14 PM
A+ thread, would read again.

ps: the web site has the old issue up.

DUATE
01-07-2007, 09:36 PM
Well done.

Famed
01-07-2007, 09:49 PM
i LIKE it

Omicron88
01-07-2007, 09:51 PM
very nice, first issue i've been mentioned in, i think :D

third tier here i come!

Corbu
01-07-2007, 09:52 PM
good stuff

RhettSarlin
01-07-2007, 09:58 PM
i like your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter

Qwo
01-07-2007, 10:32 PM
haha

bananas

FM
01-07-2007, 10:40 PM
The Weekly Steamer is the best thing to happen to this forum since the Wiki.

Honeyfugler
01-08-2007, 12:04 AM
It's amusing how bitter you people get.

teuf
01-08-2007, 12:07 AM
"you people"? you used to be one of us, oona. a part of something bigger than the individual.

you people... disgusting.

Qwo
01-08-2007, 12:08 AM
fucking niggers

Arzen
01-08-2007, 12:24 AM
I forgot to write any articles. :psyduck:

Pope Larry
01-08-2007, 12:30 AM
A+ thread, would read again.

ps: the web site has the old issue up.
Blame Blitz!

Jeebs
01-08-2007, 03:57 AM
It's amusing how bitter you people get.

Irony much? :lol:

Honeyfugler
01-08-2007, 09:02 PM
Irony much? :lol:
Coming from me, I know. :lol: But that doesn't make it any less true!

Jeebs
01-08-2007, 09:09 PM
Coming from me, I know. :lol: But that doesn't make it any less true!

Oh honestly I couldn't care less; I love you all equally like my children that are a few years older than me and it's not creepy. Not one bit.

YAYJEEBSISDRUNKAGAINWOOOO

Honeyfugler
01-08-2007, 09:19 PM
Oh honestly I couldn't care less; I love you all equally like my children that are a few years older than me and it's not creepy. Not one bit.

YAYJEEBSISDRUNKAGAINWOOOO
Yay for alcoholism!

(i.e. me too!)

Dank
01-09-2007, 08:34 AM
Great job DM. The Steamer is one the most amusing things to hit GAT in a long time.

Blitz
01-09-2007, 01:34 PM
Blame Blitz!

I'm been insanely busy lately. Also, it took me 5 hours to put together the website version last time so I need to develop or find a better system to put that together because once school starts I'm not going to have that much time.

Rodd
01-09-2007, 01:52 PM
I approve.

teuf
01-09-2007, 06:04 PM
I approve.
of the steamer, or blitz participating less?

gary sapoznik
01-09-2007, 07:33 PM
Gosh. You guys really don't like AMB, which I guess is fine. I'm always happy when you all come for a visit.

Jeebs
01-09-2007, 07:39 PM
Gosh. You guys really don't like AMB, which I guess is fine. I'm always happy when you all come for a visit.

Who're you again?

teuf
01-09-2007, 07:40 PM
Who're you again?
my gulag companion.

he does podcasts of the current events and going on at amb.

Pope Larry
01-09-2007, 07:40 PM
Who're you again?

He's my news counterpart at AMB, except he does a better job. His have musics :(

teuf
01-09-2007, 07:41 PM
He's my news counterpart at AMB, except he does a better job. His have musics :(
i prefer the nobility of the printed word.

Pope Larry
01-09-2007, 07:43 PM
Awww, thanks :)

gary sapoznik
01-09-2007, 07:52 PM
I don't really do it as often as I used to do, because real work is now busier. How often do you do these Steamers?

Pope Larry
01-09-2007, 07:58 PM
I try to crank one out every week, but this issue was retarded* due to the downtime.



*delayed

DUATE
01-09-2007, 07:58 PM
I thought Barky's comic was the best

RhettSarlin
01-16-2007, 07:54 PM
weekly steamer? more like weenever-we-get-around-to-it steamer!

DUATE
01-16-2007, 09:36 PM
damn straight

Pope Larry
01-16-2007, 10:43 PM
More like [19:38:37] eevante: you know, I feel people aren't reading it as much as the first issue
[19:38:45] eevante: maybe we should go to 2 weeks/issue instead of 1

Qwo
01-16-2007, 10:44 PM
That's dumb.

Corbu
01-16-2007, 10:44 PM
bullshit!

Pope Larry
01-16-2007, 10:46 PM
I got 10 reps for the first issue and two for this one! And if rep isn't a method of measuring readerness, I don't know what is :shun:

Corbu
01-16-2007, 10:56 PM
i don't know if i repped or not

i hardly rep people anyway. one day i'll give them out like candy, the next month i won't rep anybody even if they make my laugh like a motherfucker on a laughign farm on laughing gas watching clown sex

4thwallulz
01-16-2007, 11:01 PM
i think RF's vice-presidency at AMB is interfering with his duties here at GAT. ITS THEM OR US, POPE.

also, I promise to rep the next one.

Pope Larry
01-16-2007, 11:01 PM
What duties :shifty:

4thwallulz
01-16-2007, 11:07 PM
there's something decidedly shifty about your reply when you said, "what duties?" you're writing a steamer for them RIGHT NOW aren't you?

Pope Larry
01-16-2007, 11:11 PM
No, they have their own newsman :emo:

4thwallulz
01-16-2007, 11:34 PM
what you should do is get a bunch of gaters to move over there and place our homes just outside their city limits. When their city grows to include our homes, we'll simply vote in a new newsman.

Pope Larry
01-16-2007, 11:53 PM
Brilliant!

DUATE
01-17-2007, 06:00 AM
I havent gotten any rep from any steamer even though I write reviews, aRTICLES, woah caps lock, the horoscope, and comics. Not that I'm doing it for rep, but I'm drunk right now and shut up.

I help because the people seem to really enjoy the steamer, and I want to give them something to masturbate to.

Maybe my next comic should be about a naked woman. OR FIVE.

jaymay15
01-17-2007, 08:19 AM
or about how pissy you get over rep although you hate the repwhores of gat.

MonJoe
01-17-2007, 08:21 AM
I don't get any rep and I'm better than Dut.

DUATE
01-17-2007, 08:27 AM
or about how pissy you get over rep although you hate the repwhores of gat.
I really don't care about rep


I'm just glad people seem to be liking the steamer :D





Also I like the +rep

jaymay15
01-17-2007, 08:30 AM
i do too

and i wrote for the upcoming steamer


i should start a repho thread.

Pope Larry
01-17-2007, 07:09 PM
I'm just glad people seem to be liking the steamer :D
That's what she said :shifty: