i'm in the mood for stories - Page 3

dnallivah · 12-03-2009, 01:57 AM

A few years later, she was mowing the lawn. I was playing around a large pile of cut grass when a snake crawled out and crawled up my leg. In fear I started shaking my leg so the snake bit me to hold on. I stopped shaking, and it went down.

When I went to go tell my mom she yelled at me that she was too busy and that whatever it was it'd have to wait.

Two hours later when she finally came inside I told her that a snake had bitten me and then she yelled at me for not telling her earlier.

dnallivah · 12-03-2009, 01:58 AM

When I was 16 I got into a car crash because I took a friend home from school (I wasn't allowed to do that and I was trying to beat them home). The car was totaled and it was stupid and my fault. However, I was still able to drive it home from school.

When my parents got home and saw the car, my mother immediately started screaming and yelling. After she finally got it all out of her, my dad finally managed to ask if I was alright. It never crossed her mind to ask me that.

Man I hope I'm a better mom than she was.

RhettSarlin · 12-03-2009, 02:32 AM

i've lived in the house i'm in now for around 8 years now. but for me, this is never going to be "home".

home in my mind for now is where i lived from ages 10 - 18. N. 821 Marguerite Rd, Spokane, WA 99212. nice quiet street, no houses really all that close at the time. 4 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom house. decent sized front yard with 2 big pine trees and a 7 or 8 foot tall hedge, decent sized fenced back yard with 2 big maple trees. a big awning covered the back porch. we had a sandbox underneath it, which was fun for the first couple years but then the cats kinda turned it into a litterbox of sorts. we had other things to do besides play in the sand, so i didnt see it as a major loss.

there was a basketball halfcourt, and as you can see on google street view the driveway goes past the house into the backyard, so it was easy to ride our bikes around back there until we were old enough to take them out on the street. one of the maple trees was really easy to climb, so we'd climb up in that thing nearly every day in the summer, and just sit up there hanging out. that or up on the roof, the roof was a very moderate angle, and there was a big wooden ladder leaning up against the side of the house right outside my window. it was always fun to lounge around on the roof in the sun. my parents usually told us not to go up there but we'd do it anyway and never got hurt

. we had a big satellite dish up on there too, oh man. great big one. it's gone now though

so is the basketball hoop. so is the hedge(trimmed down to like 2 feet at best). so is one of the pine trees. suffice to say whoever bought the house after we left sucks

in the back yard my dad had a big garden. he had a normal greenhouse on the north part of the yard, several long rows on the southern west side, some more in the northwest corner, and he actually built a geodesic dome next to the other greenhouse that lasted until we moved. just a normal suburban household, but we grew everything back there.....corn, beets, carrots, parsnips, 4 different kinds of potatoes, god knows how many types of tomatoes, beans, peas, broccoli, cauliflower, lettuce, cabbage, sunflowers, cucumbers, zucchini, pumpkins, radishes, onions, garlic, spinach.....and that's not counting the stuff that was there before we even moved in like the rhubarb and the grape vines and the crabapples and the pear trees and the plum tree that put out more plums than we could ever reasonably use in a year. and then there were the lilac bushes and juniper bush to the side of the house, and the roses in front of my sister's window, and then all the marigolds and morning glories and violets and other such that my mom loved to plant. suffice to say, my parents loved growing things. i have not inherited their green thumb unfortunately. when my dad was trying to set up the geodesic dome he had all kinds of pvc pipe and metal piping to make it from. i'd always swipe one of the pipes and use it as a staff, trying to learn to use it like a NINJA WOO. tmnt for the win

i'm sure star wars kid would put some of my performances to shame, but i like to think i got pretty good at it eventually.

lessee. inside the house as you walked in the front door there was the living room off to the right, and the dining room to the left. a wall separated those from the kitchen and hall, but there was one of those window-like holes or whatever you'd call it between the kitchen and the dining room, and another between the hall and the living room. at the end of the hall, on the left was my room, on the right was my elder sister's room, and then before you got to my room was my younger sister's room. when we first moved in my brother was still young enough to be sleeping in my parents room, but when he got older they set up a sort of a room downstairs for him in the family room until my elder sister went off to college and he got my younger sister's room after she got my elder sister's room. yes.

we had two fireplaces and we used both, until the glass on the one upstairs cracked. then we emptied it out and used it as a place to put the TV, which fit pretty well. downstairs fireplace was the main one for heating the house anyway. down in the family room which made up most of the basement, we had a record player and my dad had a pretty big collection of records. everything from bill cosby to moog music to classical to star wars. we would sit down there on the couch as kids and put on record after record, listen to things over and over. we had the album "popcorn" and we always had fun with that, we created dances to go along with every song on the album.

there's so many memories from that place. this house has nothing to compare to it. this house is a place to live. the back yard is empty, my dad tried to do a garden back there too but it just didnt work anywhere near as well. there was never anything to do back there, neither my brother nor youngest sister ever did much in the way of playing in it. and the front yard's just wide open onto the street, it doesnt feel as safe as having a hedge did. it's a generic house.

i'm hoping to one day give myself a home again, a place that fits me, that i can show my personality through, be totally comfortable in. i hated having to leave that house, but i couldnt go back now even if i wanted. the new owners have completely changed the place on the outside. i'd be scared to see what they had done inside. by the way, it was white when i lived there. very slightly pinkish white. it was my dad's idea to paint it blue when we were trying to sell it. i like blue, but i always thought that color looked god awful. ah well.

~Fallen Angel~ · 12-03-2009, 10:02 AM

I was 17 and out with my friend and we were walking up to her little bros school to collect him. It was Summer and I had a skirt and strap top on and alot of the cars were beeping being the pervy fuckers that men are when they get as much as a glimpse of leg. So me and my friend were laughing about the stupidity and predictabilty of men and I cop someone walking up behind us, late 30s to early 40s white baggy t shirt, cheap looking jeans and the crappiest pair of sun glasses ever. So he is shouting excuse me so we stop and I think I dropped something so I wait for him to catch up.
He then opens with "you have alot of admirers"....I am like WTF? So he explains people beeping, I was like "yeh typical fellas so what do you want?"... He launchs into this speech about how he would respect me more, thinks I am amazing etc and so fort every compliment he can come up with on the spot that he had been following me since he saw me in this little supermarket we had been in (like an hour earlier) and could he take me for drinks"...I was abit freeked out, like I said was 17. So I say as nice as I can "look I am very flattered but I am 17, I think you are a bit old for me" (he then tried to tell me he was 29, he was much older) and I said yeh I know that a lie and even 29 is too old for me at 17 and on top of that I have a boyfriend". He looked annoyed and stormed off in the direction he came.
For months after he stalked me, I never told my Mam or anything I found it really embarrasing at the time. I told my boyfriend who wanted to kill him. He then start approaching me again when I was on my own, if I was with friends or my bf he use to drive by in his car. Anyway he use to act like we never met everytime and do his "I think you are so stunning and wonderful" speech. I got really annoyed and use to tell him to fuck off and leave me alone he was creeping me out. Then one night I was outside my house with my bf and we were kissing before he went home and my house is beside the park and slopes down into a forest and the stalker was in the forest watching us while having a wank. I told my bf who tried to catch him but he got away. The week later me my bf and my bfs friend were in this big shopping centre and I copped him following us when he realized we knew he sprinted away pushing people out of the way. Turns out my bfs friend knew where he worked for intel so him and my bf went up and waited around everyday till they caught him coming out and kicked the fuck out of him and told him if he ever came near me again they would break his legs. I seen him once after that and he came over to me really angry shouting to stop telling my boyfriend he was following me and not to worry I wouldn't see him again and he didn't even like me".....and after that I never saw him

Sam Fisher · 12-03-2009, 10:53 AM

Heres an incredibly shitty story. My roommate ALWAYS has the TV on. Its the first thing he does when he wakes up, and the first thing he does when he comes in. He never turns it off. But he never watches it, I guess he just need the background noise for when he's on Facebook for several hours.

Cronk · 12-03-2009, 11:11 AM

i think if we put rhett's house in dublin, we'd be ripe for a sitcom

Kirby · 12-03-2009, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dnallivah

then he coaxed me to go down the slide and when i got to the bottom

This would've ended a better story if FA was telling it

EDF · 12-03-2009, 03:20 PM

i eat poop and live in the sand

Welshy · 12-05-2009, 04:48 AM

Time to knock this up a notch.

OK so my buddy Jim (fake name, his real name is Tim) is a bit of a connoisseur of prozzies, by which i mean he hasn't had free sex in about four years. his roommate, Trent (as in, Trent_Stargazer) is a total player, but has never been to a whore and is fairly curious about it. Trent's birthday is coming up, and he wants Jim to take him to a brothel to celebrate.

So about a week before the birthday, Trent and Jim are out getting some late night McDonalds, both dudes being partial to McFlurries (do they do McFlurries in the US? if not, it's basically a soft serve ice cream with m&ms and crushed oreos and shit mixed in). Trent is asking questions about brothels and how the whole system works, when Jim says fuck it, i know a place nearby, lets go tonight. Trent is keen, so they drive about 20 minutes to the whorehouse.

They park across the street and Jim says here it is. Trent eyeballs the place for about ten seconds and says cool, lets go home now. Jim says what the fuck? I'm not doing a forty minute round trip for you to look at the outside of a dingy building? Stop being such a pussy and get in there. Jim forces Trent to accompany him inside the brothel.

The two guys wander in, both still eating their McFlurries. They chat to the madame and she says it's real busy tonight, there's only one girl free. Jim says send her out, and a few minutes later this stunning 18 year old russian girl walks out. Young, unscarred, fresh off the boat. As I said, Jim is an old hand at the sex trade, and he knows when you go to a whore you can't be picky. Well he is stunned, he's never seen a whore this incredible. He tells Trent this is a once in a lifetime chance, but once again Trent, who is cocky as shit with real girls, completely pussies out. Well Jim isn't letting this chance go to waste. He gives Trent his McFlurry and says see you in an hour, chump.

intermission

Now, before the story resumes, there are two pertinent facts you must understand.

First, for those who have no experience with prostitutes, the general procedure (in this country at least) is you go into the room, which has an ensuite bathroom, and you have a shower. Keeps things a bit cleaner.

Secondly, Jim is a guy with a notoriously weak digestive system. He is the same guy who ate half a pack of beef jerky and then dropped a rank torrent of watery shit into the toilets at Wild Bill's Gambling Saloon in Vegas.

So, Jim follows this beautiful young Russian to the bedroom. But as he gets there, he feels a familiar rumbling in the pit of his stomach. The nuggets he wolfed and then chased with half a McFlurry are wreaking havoc with his guts. He can feel an epic turd storm brewing in his colon. Already, his stomach is cramping up. But he knows if he leaves now, this Russian will disappear and chances are he'll never get another shot at her before some other patron ruins her beyond recognition. Dilemma.

The Russian takes him to the ensuite, and tells him to shower up. In the corner of the room he spies a toilet. A ha. So he goes along with it, gets undressed, shuts the door and turns on the shower. Instead of hopping in, he stands next to the door, listening carefully. And sure enough, after a moment he hears the whore leave the room, off to set things right with the Madame. As soon as he hears he leave, Jim leaps onto the toilet and unleashes a terrible doom upon the porcelain.

An unholy gout of acid shit floods out of him. His ring is burning up like a space shuttle on re-entry, but he knows he has to clear the bad juju before she gets back. Finally the tide recedes, and, shaken and sweaty, he breathes a sigh of relief. He is just wrapping up when he hears her returning. Dilemma part II. He has no time to flush the toilet, and knows from experience a single flush would not hide the evidence. So he closes the lid as quietly as he can, and leaps into the shower just in time for her to enter and ask him if he is ready.

A more experienced girl may have noticed his hair was barely even wet, or that his face is flushed and he is breathing hard, but not this girl. Jim climbs out and towels off, and says yes, he is indeed ready.

An hour later, a thoroughly bored Trent, stuck holding a cup of melted McFlurry, sees Jim finally emerge from the room. He stands up, but Tim waves him back down. I'm going again, he says. Trent is furious, he says he doesn't want to hang about in a whorehouse sitting room for another hour.

Jim smiles, and says yeah? Well maybe next time you won't be such a goddamn bitch.

And he turns and walks back into the depths of the whorehouse.

Cronk · 12-05-2009, 01:48 PM

it took them 20 minutes to eat half of a mcflurry?

**nikolai** · 12-05-2009, 01:49 PM

we have mcflurries in the usofa

motherfucker

we invented the mcflurries that your country now enjoys

Cronk · 12-05-2009, 01:50 PM

and we don't take 20 minutes to eat the fucking things

Welshy · 12-05-2009, 07:56 PM

thats what you took from the story?

its got sex, whores, and shits. i figured it would be perfect gat fodder

colour me done

RhettSarlin · 12-05-2009, 08:25 PM

i liked it welshy

all i've got to know is is it true

you're a good story writer so i have to ask this

Welshy · 12-05-2009, 08:32 PM

of course its true, if i was going to make up a story i'd give it a better ending than that

the only part of the story i can't be sure of is the hotness of the whore. Tim has unusual taste, and often times a 10 for him is a 7 for someone else

Cronk · 12-05-2009, 09:05 PM

and now it's tim instead of jim?

THINGS ARENT ADDING UP HERE WELSH

RhettSarlin · 12-05-2009, 09:24 PM

HE COVERED THAT IN THE FIRST POST

Welshy · 12-05-2009, 09:31 PM

its ok rhett

next time i'll tell an awesome story about how i took a 15 year old to a library and read books all afternoon, then shook hands and never talked to her again

Welshy · 12-05-2009, 09:32 PM

it's an excerpt from my memoirs, Greynbow

**nikolai** · 12-05-2009, 09:42 PM

i mean, it was a great story, but i was waiting for the climax

instead, it was basically the dude successfully took a shit, fucked a russian whore, and then went back for seconds like he was riding his favorite rollercoaster

usually, with welshy stories i'm expecting some shit to go down horribly

you foreshadowed as much

Welshy · 12-05-2009, 09:44 PM

sorry nik, real life doesn't always give you the ending you want

RhettSarlin · 12-05-2009, 09:55 PM

see and that's why i was uncertain. if it HAD one of those twists, i'd have known it was welshy writing a good story that probably wasnt true. if it had been less wacky sounding i would have known it was probably a real life story.

but as it stood it was interesting and funny but not quite welshy, so it left me wondering if it was true or if welshy was just being subtle in his storytelling, intentionally causing it to feel more like real life.

**nikolai** · 12-05-2009, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Welshy

sorry nik, real life doesn't always give you the ending you want

harsh bro

Cronk · 12-05-2009, 10:22 PM

hahaha i like how this turned out

Cronk · 12-05-2009, 10:24 PM

the mcflurries thing i was being a dick, but the tim/jim thing i just forgot about

**Stryfe** · 12-07-2009, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikolai

she lived in virginia, i lived in florida

what am i gonna do, pull a stryfe

Still a legend.

Fuck, I need to start posting again.

**nikolai** · 12-07-2009, 04:54 PM

a stories thread is the perfect place for a stryfe revival

EDF · 12-07-2009, 08:07 PM

please tell me of this legend

**nikolai** · 12-07-2009, 08:12 PM

http://www.generalanytopic.com/wiki/...p?title=Stryfe

we had this female poster back in the day

called herself Your Death, think we picked her up from a forum raid of Gaia

well, long story short, Stryfe flies from New York to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida and fucks her and I think at one point they tried anal and Stryfe fissured her asshole so that she leaked steaming shit uncontrollably all over the sheets and then told GAT about it.

EDF · 12-07-2009, 08:23 PM

ahahahahahaha

EDF · 12-07-2009, 08:24 PM

what the fuck nigga
nigga what the fuck

Cronk · 12-07-2009, 09:05 PM

she actually flew up to stay with him for a while, after he went down to see her that time.

he was getting bored of her so he started acting like a douche. he capped it off with the infamous anal, which ended in tears and ruined sheets.

**Rodd** · 12-08-2009, 09:11 AM

Here's an interesting story. The girl seated behind me on the train was incredibly over talkative. She talked to the person next to her until that person pretended to goto sleep. Then she talked to the people on the other side of the fake sleeping person until they stopped looking in her direction. Then she got on her cell phone and talked to some guy (who she met on the internets as I soon learned) until he told her he had to go.

Finally, I look in the reflection of the window to see who this annoying girl is... and she's hot as hell.

Since when do hot chicks make effort to talk to strangers?

DUATE · 12-08-2009, 09:40 AM

nice one 1bad

you saw a talkative person

Graflex · 12-08-2009, 09:52 AM

DUATE · 12-08-2009, 09:56 AM

nice one AOL

you saw an image on the internet

Graflex · 12-08-2009, 09:58 AM

I hope you appreciate that image...it took me forever to download at 38Kbps.

Graflex · 12-08-2009, 11:02 AM

My Mom kept picking up the phone.

Penguinoccio · 12-08-2009, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cronk

she actually flew up to stay with him for a while, after he went down to see her that time.

he was getting bored of her so he started acting like a douche. he capped it off with the infamous anal, which ended in tears and ruined sheets.

Does this word mean crying or anal fissures?

Cronk · 12-08-2009, 01:51 PM

both?

meant the former tho

12-03-2009, 10:02 AM	#84
~Fallen Angel~ Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Dublin! Posts: 40,293	I was 17 and out with my friend and we were walking up to her little bros school to collect him. It was Summer and I had a skirt and strap top on and alot of the cars were beeping being the pervy fuckers that men are when they get as much as a glimpse of leg. So me and my friend were laughing about the stupidity and predictabilty of men and I cop someone walking up behind us, late 30s to early 40s white baggy t shirt, cheap looking jeans and the crappiest pair of sun glasses ever. So he is shouting excuse me so we stop and I think I dropped something so I wait for him to catch up. He then opens with "you have alot of admirers"....I am like WTF? So he explains people beeping, I was like "yeh typical fellas so what do you want?"... He launchs into this speech about how he would respect me more, thinks I am amazing etc and so fort every compliment he can come up with on the spot that he had been following me since he saw me in this little supermarket we had been in (like an hour earlier) and could he take me for drinks"...I was abit freeked out, like I said was 17. So I say as nice as I can "look I am very flattered but I am 17, I think you are a bit old for me" (he then tried to tell me he was 29, he was much older) and I said yeh I know that a lie and even 29 is too old for me at 17 and on top of that I have a boyfriend". He looked annoyed and stormed off in the direction he came. For months after he stalked me, I never told my Mam or anything I found it really embarrasing at the time. I told my boyfriend who wanted to kill him. He then start approaching me again when I was on my own, if I was with friends or my bf he use to drive by in his car. Anyway he use to act like we never met everytime and do his "I think you are so stunning and wonderful" speech. I got really annoyed and use to tell him to fuck off and leave me alone he was creeping me out. Then one night I was outside my house with my bf and we were kissing before he went home and my house is beside the park and slopes down into a forest and the stalker was in the forest watching us while having a wank. I told my bf who tried to catch him but he got away. The week later me my bf and my bfs friend were in this big shopping centre and I copped him following us when he realized we knew he sprinted away pushing people out of the way. Turns out my bfs friend knew where he worked for intel so him and my bf went up and waited around everyday till they caught him coming out and kicked the fuck out of him and told him if he ever came near me again they would break his legs. I seen him once after that and he came over to me really angry shouting to stop telling my boyfriend he was following me and not to worry I wouldn't see him again and he didn't even like me".....and after that I never saw him __________________ ~FallenAngel~

12-05-2009, 04:48 AM	#89
Welshy The Boney King of Nowhere Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 65,727 gXboxLive Leaderboard: 24^th	Time to knock this up a notch. OK so my buddy Jim (fake name, his real name is Tim) is a bit of a connoisseur of prozzies, by which i mean he hasn't had free sex in about four years. his roommate, Trent (as in, Trent_Stargazer) is a total player, but has never been to a whore and is fairly curious about it. Trent's birthday is coming up, and he wants Jim to take him to a brothel to celebrate. So about a week before the birthday, Trent and Jim are out getting some late night McDonalds, both dudes being partial to McFlurries (do they do McFlurries in the US? if not, it's basically a soft serve ice cream with m&ms and crushed oreos and shit mixed in). Trent is asking questions about brothels and how the whole system works, when Jim says fuck it, i know a place nearby, lets go tonight. Trent is keen, so they drive about 20 minutes to the whorehouse. They park across the street and Jim says here it is. Trent eyeballs the place for about ten seconds and says cool, lets go home now. Jim says what the fuck? I'm not doing a forty minute round trip for you to look at the outside of a dingy building? Stop being such a pussy and get in there. Jim forces Trent to accompany him inside the brothel. The two guys wander in, both still eating their McFlurries. They chat to the madame and she says it's real busy tonight, there's only one girl free. Jim says send her out, and a few minutes later this stunning 18 year old russian girl walks out. Young, unscarred, fresh off the boat. As I said, Jim is an old hand at the sex trade, and he knows when you go to a whore you can't be picky. Well he is stunned, he's never seen a whore this incredible. He tells Trent this is a once in a lifetime chance, but once again Trent, who is cocky as shit with real girls, completely pussies out. Well Jim isn't letting this chance go to waste. He gives Trent his McFlurry and says see you in an hour, chump. intermission Now, before the story resumes, there are two pertinent facts you must understand. First, for those who have no experience with prostitutes, the general procedure (in this country at least) is you go into the room, which has an ensuite bathroom, and you have a shower. Keeps things a bit cleaner. Secondly, Jim is a guy with a notoriously weak digestive system. He is the same guy who ate half a pack of beef jerky and then dropped a rank torrent of watery shit into the toilets at Wild Bill's Gambling Saloon in Vegas. So, Jim follows this beautiful young Russian to the bedroom. But as he gets there, he feels a familiar rumbling in the pit of his stomach. The nuggets he wolfed and then chased with half a McFlurry are wreaking havoc with his guts. He can feel an epic turd storm brewing in his colon. Already, his stomach is cramping up. But he knows if he leaves now, this Russian will disappear and chances are he'll never get another shot at her before some other patron ruins her beyond recognition. Dilemma. The Russian takes him to the ensuite, and tells him to shower up. In the corner of the room he spies a toilet. A ha. So he goes along with it, gets undressed, shuts the door and turns on the shower. Instead of hopping in, he stands next to the door, listening carefully. And sure enough, after a moment he hears the whore leave the room, off to set things right with the Madame. As soon as he hears he leave, Jim leaps onto the toilet and unleashes a terrible doom upon the porcelain. An unholy gout of acid shit floods out of him. His ring is burning up like a space shuttle on re-entry, but he knows he has to clear the bad juju before she gets back. Finally the tide recedes, and, shaken and sweaty, he breathes a sigh of relief. He is just wrapping up when he hears her returning. Dilemma part II. He has no time to flush the toilet, and knows from experience a single flush would not hide the evidence. So he closes the lid as quietly as he can, and leaps into the shower just in time for her to enter and ask him if he is ready. A more experienced girl may have noticed his hair was barely even wet, or that his face is flushed and he is breathing hard, but not this girl. Jim climbs out and towels off, and says yes, he is indeed ready. An hour later, a thoroughly bored Trent, stuck holding a cup of melted McFlurry, sees Jim finally emerge from the room. He stands up, but Tim waves him back down. I'm going again, he says. Trent is furious, he says he doesn't want to hang about in a whorehouse sitting room for another hour. Jim smiles, and says yeah? Well maybe next time you won't be such a goddamn bitch. And he turns and walks back into the depths of the whorehouse. __________________

12-05-2009, 07:56 PM	#93
Welshy The Boney King of Nowhere Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 65,727 gXboxLive Leaderboard: 24^th	thats what you took from the story? its got sex, whores, and shits. i figured it would be perfect gat fodder colour me done __________________

12-05-2009, 08:32 PM	#95
Welshy The Boney King of Nowhere Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 65,727 gXboxLive Leaderboard: 24^th	of course its true, if i was going to make up a story i'd give it a better ending than that the only part of the story i can't be sure of is the hotness of the whore. Tim has unusual taste, and often times a 10 for him is a 7 for someone else __________________

12-05-2009, 09:31 PM	#98
Welshy The Boney King of Nowhere Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 65,727 gXboxLive Leaderboard: 24^th	its ok rhett next time i'll tell an awesome story about how i took a 15 year old to a library and read books all afternoon, then shook hands and never talked to her again __________________

12-03-2009, 01:57 AM	#81
dnallivah Dnal Smash! Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 26,609	A few years later, she was mowing the lawn. I was playing around a large pile of cut grass when a snake crawled out and crawled up my leg. In fear I started shaking my leg so the snake bit me to hold on. I stopped shaking, and it went down. When I went to go tell my mom she yelled at me that she was too busy and that whatever it was it'd have to wait. Two hours later when she finally came inside I told her that a snake had bitten me and then she yelled at me for not telling her earlier.

12-03-2009, 01:58 AM	#82
dnallivah Dnal Smash! Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 26,609	When I was 16 I got into a car crash because I took a friend home from school (I wasn't allowed to do that and I was trying to beat them home). The car was totaled and it was stupid and my fault. However, I was still able to drive it home from school. When my parents got home and saw the car, my mother immediately started screaming and yelling. After she finally got it all out of her, my dad finally managed to ask if I was alright. It never crossed her mind to ask me that. Man I hope I'm a better mom than she was.

12-03-2009, 02:32 AM	#83
RhettSarlin n/t Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 18,697	i've lived in the house i'm in now for around 8 years now. but for me, this is never going to be "home". home in my mind for now is where i lived from ages 10 - 18. N. 821 Marguerite Rd, Spokane, WA 99212. nice quiet street, no houses really all that close at the time. 4 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom house. decent sized front yard with 2 big pine trees and a 7 or 8 foot tall hedge, decent sized fenced back yard with 2 big maple trees. a big awning covered the back porch. we had a sandbox underneath it, which was fun for the first couple years but then the cats kinda turned it into a litterbox of sorts. we had other things to do besides play in the sand, so i didnt see it as a major loss. there was a basketball halfcourt, and as you can see on google street view the driveway goes past the house into the backyard, so it was easy to ride our bikes around back there until we were old enough to take them out on the street. one of the maple trees was really easy to climb, so we'd climb up in that thing nearly every day in the summer, and just sit up there hanging out. that or up on the roof, the roof was a very moderate angle, and there was a big wooden ladder leaning up against the side of the house right outside my window. it was always fun to lounge around on the roof in the sun. my parents usually told us not to go up there but we'd do it anyway and never got hurt . we had a big satellite dish up on there too, oh man. great big one. it's gone now though so is the basketball hoop. so is the hedge(trimmed down to like 2 feet at best). so is one of the pine trees. suffice to say whoever bought the house after we left sucks in the back yard my dad had a big garden. he had a normal greenhouse on the north part of the yard, several long rows on the southern west side, some more in the northwest corner, and he actually built a geodesic dome next to the other greenhouse that lasted until we moved. just a normal suburban household, but we grew everything back there.....corn, beets, carrots, parsnips, 4 different kinds of potatoes, god knows how many types of tomatoes, beans, peas, broccoli, cauliflower, lettuce, cabbage, sunflowers, cucumbers, zucchini, pumpkins, radishes, onions, garlic, spinach.....and that's not counting the stuff that was there before we even moved in like the rhubarb and the grape vines and the crabapples and the pear trees and the plum tree that put out more plums than we could ever reasonably use in a year. and then there were the lilac bushes and juniper bush to the side of the house, and the roses in front of my sister's window, and then all the marigolds and morning glories and violets and other such that my mom loved to plant. suffice to say, my parents loved growing things. i have not inherited their green thumb unfortunately. when my dad was trying to set up the geodesic dome he had all kinds of pvc pipe and metal piping to make it from. i'd always swipe one of the pipes and use it as a staff, trying to learn to use it like a NINJA WOO. tmnt for the win i'm sure star wars kid would put some of my performances to shame, but i like to think i got pretty good at it eventually. lessee. inside the house as you walked in the front door there was the living room off to the right, and the dining room to the left. a wall separated those from the kitchen and hall, but there was one of those window-like holes or whatever you'd call it between the kitchen and the dining room, and another between the hall and the living room. at the end of the hall, on the left was my room, on the right was my elder sister's room, and then before you got to my room was my younger sister's room. when we first moved in my brother was still young enough to be sleeping in my parents room, but when he got older they set up a sort of a room downstairs for him in the family room until my elder sister went off to college and he got my younger sister's room after she got my elder sister's room. yes. we had two fireplaces and we used both, until the glass on the one upstairs cracked. then we emptied it out and used it as a place to put the TV, which fit pretty well. downstairs fireplace was the main one for heating the house anyway. down in the family room which made up most of the basement, we had a record player and my dad had a pretty big collection of records. everything from bill cosby to moog music to classical to star wars. we would sit down there on the couch as kids and put on record after record, listen to things over and over. we had the album "popcorn" and we always had fun with that, we created dances to go along with every song on the album. there's so many memories from that place. this house has nothing to compare to it. this house is a place to live. the back yard is empty, my dad tried to do a garden back there too but it just didnt work anywhere near as well. there was never anything to do back there, neither my brother nor youngest sister ever did much in the way of playing in it. and the front yard's just wide open onto the street, it doesnt feel as safe as having a hedge did. it's a generic house. i'm hoping to one day give myself a home again, a place that fits me, that i can show my personality through, be totally comfortable in. i hated having to leave that house, but i couldnt go back now even if i wanted. the new owners have completely changed the place on the outside. i'd be scared to see what they had done inside. by the way, it was white when i lived there. very slightly pinkish white. it was my dad's idea to paint it blue when we were trying to sell it. i like blue, but i always thought that color looked god awful. ah well.

12-03-2009, 10:53 AM	#85
Sam Fisher Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: I am where i am. Posts: 2,456	Heres an incredibly shitty story. My roommate ALWAYS has the TV on. Its the first thing he does when he wakes up, and the first thing he does when he comes in. He never turns it off. But he never watches it, I guess he just need the background noise for when he's on Facebook for several hours.

12-03-2009, 11:11 AM	#86
Cronk Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 50,501	i think if we put rhett's house in dublin, we'd be ripe for a sitcom

12-03-2009, 03:20 PM	#88
EDF without thomas there will be no violence this christmas Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: south jersey Posts: 8,944	i eat poop and live in the sand

12-05-2009, 01:48 PM	#90
Cronk Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 50,501	it took them 20 minutes to eat half of a mcflurry?

12-05-2009, 01:49 PM	#91
nikolai the last wordbender Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 17,398	we have mcflurries in the usofa motherfucker we invented the mcflurries that your country now enjoys

12-05-2009, 01:50 PM	#92
Cronk Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 50,501	and we don't take 20 minutes to eat the fucking things

12-05-2009, 08:25 PM	#94
RhettSarlin n/t Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 18,697	i liked it welshy all i've got to know is is it true you're a good story writer so i have to ask this

12-05-2009, 09:05 PM	#96
Cronk Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 50,501	and now it's tim instead of jim? THINGS ARENT ADDING UP HERE WELSH

12-05-2009, 09:24 PM	#97
RhettSarlin n/t Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 18,697	HE COVERED THAT IN THE FIRST POST

12-05-2009, 09:32 PM	#99
Welshy The Boney King of Nowhere Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 65,727 gXboxLive Leaderboard: 24^th	it's an excerpt from my memoirs, Greynbow __________________

12-05-2009, 09:42 PM	#100
nikolai the last wordbender Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 17,398	i mean, it was a great story, but i was waiting for the climax instead, it was basically the dude successfully took a shit, fucked a russian whore, and then went back for seconds like he was riding his favorite rollercoaster usually, with welshy stories i'm expecting some shit to go down horribly you foreshadowed as much

12-05-2009, 09:44 PM	#101
Welshy The Boney King of Nowhere Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 65,727 gXboxLive Leaderboard: 24^th	sorry nik, real life doesn't always give you the ending you want __________________

12-05-2009, 09:55 PM	#102
RhettSarlin n/t Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 18,697	see and that's why i was uncertain. if it HAD one of those twists, i'd have known it was welshy writing a good story that probably wasnt true. if it had been less wacky sounding i would have known it was probably a real life story. but as it stood it was interesting and funny but not quite welshy, so it left me wondering if it was true or if welshy was just being subtle in his storytelling, intentionally causing it to feel more like real life.

12-05-2009, 10:22 PM	#104
Cronk Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 50,501	hahaha i like how this turned out

12-05-2009, 10:24 PM	#105
Cronk Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 50,501	the mcflurries thing i was being a dick, but the tim/jim thing i just forgot about

12-07-2009, 04:54 PM	#107
nikolai the last wordbender Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 17,398	a stories thread is the perfect place for a stryfe revival

12-07-2009, 08:07 PM	#108
EDF without thomas there will be no violence this christmas Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: south jersey Posts: 8,944	please tell me of this legend

12-07-2009, 08:12 PM	#109
nikolai the last wordbender Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 17,398	http://www.generalanytopic.com/wiki/...p?title=Stryfe we had this female poster back in the day called herself Your Death, think we picked her up from a forum raid of Gaia well, long story short, Stryfe flies from New York to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida and fucks her and I think at one point they tried anal and Stryfe fissured her asshole so that she leaked steaming shit uncontrollably all over the sheets and then told GAT about it.

12-07-2009, 08:23 PM	#110
EDF without thomas there will be no violence this christmas Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: south jersey Posts: 8,944	ahahahahahaha

12-07-2009, 08:24 PM	#111
EDF without thomas there will be no violence this christmas Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: south jersey Posts: 8,944	what the fuck nigga nigga what the fuck

12-07-2009, 09:05 PM	#112
Cronk Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 50,501	she actually flew up to stay with him for a while, after he went down to see her that time. he was getting bored of her so he started acting like a douche. he capped it off with the infamous anal, which ended in tears and ruined sheets.

12-08-2009, 09:11 AM	#113
Rodd EmoDadBuzzKill Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: on the ice Posts: 28,251 gXboxLive Leaderboard: 33^rd	Here's an interesting story. The girl seated behind me on the train was incredibly over talkative. She talked to the person next to her until that person pretended to goto sleep. Then she talked to the people on the other side of the fake sleeping person until they stopped looking in her direction. Then she got on her cell phone and talked to some guy (who she met on the internets as I soon learned) until he told her he had to go. Finally, I look in the reflection of the window to see who this annoying girl is... and she's hot as hell. Since when do hot chicks make effort to talk to strangers? __________________ The Greatest Scientology Story Ever

12-08-2009, 09:40 AM	#114
DUATE Ass Burgers Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 34,820	nice one 1bad you saw a talkative person

12-08-2009, 09:52 AM	#115
Graflex [head dance] Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 869	__________________

12-08-2009, 09:56 AM	#116
DUATE Ass Burgers Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 34,820	nice one AOL you saw an image on the internet

12-08-2009, 09:58 AM	#117
Graflex [head dance] Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 869	I hope you appreciate that image...it took me forever to download at 38Kbps. __________________

12-08-2009, 11:02 AM	#118
Graflex [head dance] Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 869	My Mom kept picking up the phone. __________________