[tkups]

Duate is a self-absorbed rabbit-hugger

Duate's lips resemble mangled lemons mixed with blood.

When Duate was born, his mother thought she accidently shit out the wrong side and tried to wipe him up with toilet paper.

Duate's motor control is so poor, he can barely navigate threads.

Duate's typing skills are worse than Lokais'

LIST OF IDEAS DUATE IS IN THE PROS COLUMN FOR:

Abortion
The Final Solution.
Euthanasia
castration.
Invading Earth without mercy.
Leaving Earth alone and not letting its evil corrupt us.
Killing Duate.

Duate voted for the Roasted Duck, because he turned in a menu at the ballot box.

Duate was actually surpirsed that when I said lets argue a "Stupid idea" we started arguing about him. DUATE, YOU'RE NOT THE CHOCOLATIEST COOKIE IN THE JAR.

Duate? More like Karate! Kid! was a decent movie!

Duate voted Democrat because he agreed with their political standpoints and thought Bush is not a very good president.

Duate was lured into a car because he was offered candy. There, he raped the guy.

Duate thinks Lokais is a pretty cool guy.

Duate needed to make a candle, so he tried to use wikipedia.org.

Duate doesn't understand this thread.

duate doesn't get third page like me.

Duate sucks. THANKS ARZEN.




*I don't even know what this means, but TODO says it)

DuaKe is a terrible speller.

Its past duate's bedtime. His mom is going to come in and give him a spanking. Thats why he does it. HARDER MOMMY!

Duate talked to T-Rex and failed to discuss anything of intellectual import. He also did not sex up Utahraptor.

Duate thinks Welshy is funny.


DUATE SUPPORTS FLOOD CONTROL.

Duate thinks the universe came from a God or gods.

Duate has an outy belly button.


SERIOUSLY, THATS DEAD TISSUE. WHACK IT OFF.

When Duate masturbates, he inhales air with his penis.

Duate visited penguins once. On seeing them he said "I didn't know zebras lived this far south"

Duate lost a finger when he tried to cut his peanut butter sandwich diagonally, not straight across like he was used to.

Duate is so lazy, they named an sea on the moon after him. "The Sea of Duate" I mean, whats lazier than a sea without water?

Duate laughs everytime his brother farts after Duate pulls his finger.

Duate tried to scuba dive once. He was amazed at the wonderful life under the liquid barrier that he had been ignorant of. He stayed underwater for hours, revelling in his new knowledge, until his mom told him he had to get out of the bathtub, because his friends were at the door.

edit: DID I SAY FRIENDS? I MEANT ENEMIES. HE HAS NO FRIENDS.

Duate liked to maturbate while driving. Til the golf club kicked him out.

Duate ate an entire hamburger in one sitting.

Duate is such a music snob, he understood this reference.

Duate fought the Power Rangers, but never grew HUGE and made them get out their mech-suits.

Duate fought Mothra, and saved his living room from the scourge of the fluttering Terror.

Duate fought the law, and the law won.

Duate fought the good fight until Jesus just told him to give up. He'll never get into heaven, Jesus explained.

Duate fought Women's Rights with a fiery temper and a sexy wink.

Duate fought until his hands bled from the effort. Then he finally declared the mailbox the winner.

Duate fought giraffes, but brought moths that only eat wool, and was trampled to death by a herd of cotton.

Duate fought his Cancer until the day he died. Later he found out that the tumor was actually his kneecap.

Duate fought a kangaroo baby. His only comment on the fight: "He's a devil in the sack"

Duate fougth insomnia by insulting another person on the internet constantly. Loser.

Duate fought for his right to party. He won, then promptly put on a party hat and fell asleep.

Duate fought he was going to the store, but his mother brought him to the fespians club, where he became a mediocre actor with low pay and bad hours.

Duate fought the MAN, but it turns out the MAN likes it when you throw money at him.

Duate fought black people in the Chinese War.. And he called them niggers.

Duate fought sanity by flummoxing a yellow.

Duate fought the status quo, wearing his hat backwards. His parents disowned him.

Duate fought T-Rex and never had a intellectual discussion of any import. He also never sexed the Utahraptor.

Duate fought WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY ELSE SERIOUSLY.

Duate fought repitition by switching hands and pleasuring himself with his left.

Duate fought for good taste in music by refraining from posting in music threads.

Duate fought in 'Nam and came back with all his limbs. Pussy.

Duate fought in 'Nam and lost his leg to a vietnamese soldier. Pussy.

Duate fought in 'Nam and every night ate his favorite dish. Pussy.

Duate fought illiteracy by pushing a bill to ban sex before marriage.

Duate fought the integrity of the office of the president by pushing a Bill to have sex outside of marriage.

Duate fought the dinosaurs, but failed to stop the mammals.

Duate fought The statue of Liberty in a no-hold-barred match. He blinked first.

Duate fought Owls by writing the book series Redwall, attempting to inspire woodland creatures to rise up and take over. Unfortunately, he made a fatal error: Mice only read REALISTIC fiction.

Duate fought Jesus over who would rule the earth after God passed away. Duate fell for the ol' "Look out behind you!" and the rest is historical fiction.

Duate sold his master over to his enemies for 40 silver pieces. Then he realized silver was worthless in the Confederacy.

Duate OH GOD I MESSED UP ON THAT LAST ONE.

Duate ate Prometheus's liver every day while Prometheus was chained to the rock. The thing of it was, Duate thought he was helping.

Duate likes to play Zerg, because he thinks Ultralisks are HOT.

Duate ABANDONED ME and now thinks he can just rejoin without any consequences!

Duate was locked in a closet with vanna white and didn't even pretend to "Fall out of his clothes"

Duate tried to eat a subway sandwich in one bite, and choked to death because he ordered extra LARGE METAL BLADES.

Duate was brought to the dog pound and they informed his captor that they only accept dogs, not hairy rodents.

Duate thinks that "Alls fair in love and War" is a good motto to apply to baseball.

Duate only appreciates applied science. Pure research is beyond him.

Duate has funnier posts than I do, So I'm going to bed.

[Welshy]

Duate used to be cool, till I realized he was a faggot

Duate's doctor advised him to take up smoking

Duate is first in the abortion "pros" column

Duate voted for Gore, because he thought he was signing up for S&M porn

Duate is a total fuck

Duate voted for the Libertarians because he likes books

Duate is bad enuf but a frog

Duate once met Lincoln's ghost, but failed to have any adventures

Duate had a girlfriend, but she died from lack of cock.

Duate went to the greyhound track once, but only placed fifth

Duate built himself a trampoline, but it made his jumps smaller

Duate decided to travel to the moon once. He totally failed.

Duate was on TV once, on "The Worlds Duatiest Men"

Duate broke up with his highschool sweetheart after prom. She died during his freshman year.

Duate tried to sharpen a pencil once, and now he has no knees

Duate went on holiday to England, and it only took him two weeks to pick up the native language

Duate liked to masturbate while driving, till the arcade kicked him out

Duate was excited when he found out Jesus was a carpenter, because Rainy Days and Mondays is like his favourite song ever!

Duate needed a place to stay, so he bought a house cat

Duate didn't realize Macy Gray was black. He thought she was gray.

Duate was eating dinner, you clingy shit

Duate thought he saw the vigrin mary once, till it was explained that it was just a mirror. Did I say once? I meant EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Duate doesnt smoke marijuana, he's just like that naturally

Duate came last in a "who can masturbate the longest" race. CONFUSING.

Duate gave a man a fish, and he ate for a day. Then he taught a man to fish, and he died, because duate is a poor teacher.

Duate's heart grew seven sizes that day. The blood pumped so hard his circulatory system exploded

Duate's heart grew seven sizes that day. Lucky he was wearing tracksuit pants.

Duate's heart grew seven sizes that day. So did his ego, the insufferable ass.

Duate's heart grew seven sizes that day. The previous week however, it shrank 10 sizes after he raped all those kittens. He's almost due for parole.

Duate ran as hard as he could. Subsequently, his erection finished .03 seconds before he did, and took the gold.

Duate blew up a balloon. He's 1/8th arabic, you know.

Duate went to grammar prison after publishing his thesis. He still claims someone was set him up.

Duate has a toenail the size of a regular toenail.

Duate walked warily down the street with his brim pulled way down low.

Duate used to roll a dice to decide what to do. He stopped after no one wanted two come over four premarital six. Pretend three and five dont exist, please.

Duate caught herpes once. He'd been searching for it for eight years.

Duate once wrote a book called "Things I am good at". It was 1700 pages long, but sadly writing wasn't one of the things he was good at, so no one read it.

Duate just discovered this awesome band, "The Smashing Pumpkins", and really wants you to listen

Duate has nice hair. He keeps it in a scrap book.

Duate remembers a time when there was more than one thread to post in.

Duate baked himself a beautiful bride. Sadly, he forgot to add sweetner to her personality, and she turned out to be a huge tart.

Duate owns a vinyard. His favourite is a cheeky little '02 "xXx"

Duate is like santa, in that he only comes once a year. He also has to be careful not to wake the sleeping children.

Duate is hanging around, probably waiting to claim page 6

Duate is french for "duate"

Duate drank the entire ocean, to prove to a girl that he loved her. It didn't change the fact that he has a tiny penis, though.

Duate was a handsome young man once. Now he's a bitter old crone.

Duate was in a 'Battle of the bands' once. He brutally slew four before someone explained the concept to him.

Duate has this exact phrase appearing in one of his sigs

Duate drew the original Mickey Mouse. He used a deformed young african child as a model.

Duate wonders how many pages this will last

Duate is gay, but for carrots instead of men. What do you call that?

Duate has cancer of the awesome.

Duate rides his bike to school. The rush of the wind in his hair felt great, until the cops made him put his pants back on.

Duate likes to wear dresses. There's nothing wrong with that, except that he picks the ugliest pieces of shit he can find.

Duate got an A for woodshop. The teacher never thought he'd actually put his penis in that vice, but a bet is a bet.

Duate is gonna fuck up page 6. Watch.

Duate's hands are clammy. His feet are lobstery.

Duate stole the cookiee from the co-cookie jar. Also, a nation's innocence.

Duate got roped into a shotgun wedding. Life was fine, until Remington-Mae came home and found him in bed with a young smooth-bore .22 rifle

Duate was King of DDR until some guys beat the shit out of him for playing DDR.

Duate did two chicks at once, once. He was fired shorty after, and hasn't worked on a farm since.

Duate once had sex with a man to prove he wasn't gay. No, I didn't get it either.

Duate decided to paint a picture of the sun, but went blind. We all told him not to masturbate so much.

[Lokais]

Duate stores his urine in jars buried in his backyard

Duate's personal hygiene is less the reputable

Duate voted for Bush twice cause he thought that he was signing up for hairy chick porn

Duate votes exclusively green party because he thinks it will make it possible for him to have sex with aliens

Duate doesn't belong here

Duate watched Star Wars expecting to see his favorite celebrities locked in a battle to the death

Duate was lured into a car because he thought he was gonna get molested by a guy...but he was only given candy. And he cried

Duate still says the phrase "none of your beeswax"

Duate once played Super Mario Brothers and complained that mushrooms made him smaller

Duate once drank a beer, and the proceeded to ride his bike. It has training wheels!

Duate went to Hollywood hoping to make his way as an actor. Hollywood, North Dakota!

Duate is using this thread as a timeline of his life.

Duate thinks that, like the pyramids, this thread demonstrates his prowess as a man. He is wrong

Duate thinks that positive thinking leads to positive action. He tried to tell this to Bin Laden and was promptly removed from the premises

Duate tried to hold a boner for a record 2 weeks. The young boys parents saw this and put a stop to it immediately.

Duate knows the secrets of how the universe formed, but possessing only a fundamental grasp of physics, he can't explain it to others

Duate likes to talk big, but he thinks small

Duate is glad that this thread's page number has now reached the size of his penis....in centimeters

Duate finds it is better to give than to receive. Consequently, all STDs can actually be traced back to his filthy penis

Duate has partaken in numerous shotgun weddings. He found a loophole around America's gay marriage stance

Duate caught a foul ball in his mouth at Yankee Stadium a few years back, that was the last time he teabagged his life partner during the humid summer months

Duate once flew in an airplane to visit a girl he met on the internet only to find out that the airplane was actually a 47 year old bald guy.

Duate thought he could get chicks if he studied really hard. Too bad chicks care nothing about your knowledge on how to please your man.

[DUATE]

[Welshy]

Pretty conclusive, i'd say.

[Lokais]

Man, I forgot about those. I am awesome. Oh, and those other guys had some good ones too.

[Noodle Boy]

Originally Posted by Lokais

Duate caught a foul ball in his mouth at Yankee Stadium a few years back, that was the last time he teabagged his life partner during the humid summer months