Dark Tower Comic Book Issue One Review (Potential spoilers, but not really)

FM · 02-17-2007, 02:07 PM

"Meh" is the word I'll choose to describe the first issue of the seven-part Dark Tower series.

STORY: Here I was hoping for something new, but no, I was vastly disappointed. The first issue basically just recounts the childhood flashback of Roland from the Gunslinger, in which he hangs out with Cuthbert and Alain, bests Cort, sexes up a slut, and then gets caught by daddy. The writing is mediocre, but that's what I was expecting from Marvel. It's written by the guy who wrote the DT Concordances, so he knows all of the DT jargon, and man does he lay it on in every goddamn sentence of caption. The jargon is layed on way too much in my opinion. The actual narrative that King provided in the books uses the jargon sparingly, stuff like "say thankya" and "sai", etc, but the narrator of the comic book - who is a mysterious whoknowswho - lays it on thick. Really no new ground was covered in terms of the story of the Dark Tower. And I mean absolutely none - it was almost a carbon-copy of the Gunslinger passages but illustrated. The only neat thing it DID provide was a short story in the back of the issue in which Roland's teacher Vannay described the "sacred geometry of mid-world" and provided some extremely enlightening facts about how all the "mid-worlds" and "arcs" and "end-worlds" and such actually work to make a stable geography, whereas I had always thought the description of "zones" in the DT universe were very hard to imagine. So it's worth reading the last 6 pages or so of text-only description of DT geographical terms.

ART: I hate Marvel art, and this is a prime example of really bad art. It's all computer-made, I doubt they even sketched it in real life. Everything is shaded by a shitty gradient. They drew Roland as thick, tough, and kind of unrealistic, and I really don't like it. He doesn't have the chiselled features and kind of out-there Clint Eastwood look I had made in my mind and also through the previous Dark Tower art.

Overall I give issue one 6/10... if it wasn't Dark Tower, it would've gotten a 4/10. It's a typical Marvel comic production: all plot movement through action and very little character development. It basically just takes a flashback from the Gunslinger and illustrates the events that occur with a nerdy narrator "leading" us through.

Pope Larry · 02-18-2007, 01:08 AM

lame

DUATE · 02-18-2007, 05:00 PM

gay

FM · 02-18-2007, 06:16 PM

me or the comic? it's hard to tell these days.

DUATE · 02-18-2007, 06:17 PM

it sounds dissapointing

DUATE · 02-22-2007, 02:10 AM

holy shit wtf

they changed "The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed." to "A man, dressed all in ebony, sprinting across a white, blinding, and waterless desert."

THOSE BASTARDS

who do they think they are?!

edit: oh wait its in there. ON THE SECOND PAGE

i hate these fuckers already

edit: god this reads like a fanfic. and who is narrating it and why did they even narrate it at all?!

Agent of the System · 02-22-2007, 02:12 AM

purple prose

DUATE · 02-22-2007, 03:04 AM

ROLAND STANDS IN THE FIELD OF BATTLE WITH HIS CHOSEN WEAPON, DAVID THE HAWK, AS HE CHALLENGES HIS TEACHER, CORT.

yeah no shit marvel, we're not stupid and we can see that he is standing there, in the field of battle, with his chosen weapon, as he challenges his teacher, cort. I hate it when narration treats me like I'm an idiot that can understand what's going on.

FM · 02-22-2007, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duate

ROLAND STANDS IN THE FIELD OF BATTLE WITH HIS CHOSEN WEAPON, DAVID THE HAWK, AS HE CHALLENGES HIS TEACHER, CORT.

yeah no shit marvel, we're not stupid and we can see that he is standing there, in the field of battle, with his chosen weapon, as he challenges his teacher, cort. I hate it when narration treats me like I'm an idiot that can understand what's going on.

thx marvel, lol.

02-17-2007, 02:07 PM	#1
FM welp. Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 33,800	"Meh" is the word I'll choose to describe the first issue of the seven-part Dark Tower series. STORY: Here I was hoping for something new, but no, I was vastly disappointed. The first issue basically just recounts the childhood flashback of Roland from the Gunslinger, in which he hangs out with Cuthbert and Alain, bests Cort, sexes up a slut, and then gets caught by daddy. The writing is mediocre, but that's what I was expecting from Marvel. It's written by the guy who wrote the DT Concordances, so he knows all of the DT jargon, and man does he lay it on in every goddamn sentence of caption. The jargon is layed on way too much in my opinion. The actual narrative that King provided in the books uses the jargon sparingly, stuff like "say thankya" and "sai", etc, but the narrator of the comic book - who is a mysterious whoknowswho - lays it on thick. Really no new ground was covered in terms of the story of the Dark Tower. And I mean absolutely none - it was almost a carbon-copy of the Gunslinger passages but illustrated. The only neat thing it DID provide was a short story in the back of the issue in which Roland's teacher Vannay described the "sacred geometry of mid-world" and provided some extremely enlightening facts about how all the "mid-worlds" and "arcs" and "end-worlds" and such actually work to make a stable geography, whereas I had always thought the description of "zones" in the DT universe were very hard to imagine. So it's worth reading the last 6 pages or so of text-only description of DT geographical terms. ART: I hate Marvel art, and this is a prime example of really bad art. It's all computer-made, I doubt they even sketched it in real life. Everything is shaded by a shitty gradient. They drew Roland as thick, tough, and kind of unrealistic, and I really don't like it. He doesn't have the chiselled features and kind of out-there Clint Eastwood look I had made in my mind and also through the previous Dark Tower art. Overall I give issue one 6/10... if it wasn't Dark Tower, it would've gotten a 4/10. It's a typical Marvel comic production: all plot movement through action and very little character development. It basically just takes a flashback from the Gunslinger and illustrates the events that occur with a nerdy narrator "leading" us through. __________________ lol

02-18-2007, 01:08 AM	#2
Pope Larry Representative of Mexico Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Berkeley, CA Posts: 20,903	lame __________________

02-18-2007, 06:16 PM	#4
FM welp. Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 33,800	me or the comic? it's hard to tell these days. __________________ lol

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02-18-2007, 05:00 PM	#3
DUATE Ass Burgers Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 35,514	gay

02-18-2007, 06:17 PM	#5
DUATE Ass Burgers Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 35,514	it sounds dissapointing

02-22-2007, 02:10 AM	#6
DUATE Ass Burgers Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 35,514	holy shit wtf they changed "The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed." to "A man, dressed all in ebony, sprinting across a white, blinding, and waterless desert." THOSE BASTARDS who do they think they are?! edit: oh wait its in there. ON THE SECOND PAGE i hate these fuckers already edit: god this reads like a fanfic. and who is narrating it and why did they even narrate it at all?!

02-22-2007, 02:12 AM	#7
Agent of the System Cowboys Frontrunner Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 11,623 gXboxLive Leaderboard: 5^th	purple prose

02-22-2007, 03:04 AM	#8
DUATE Ass Burgers Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 35,514	ROLAND STANDS IN THE FIELD OF BATTLE WITH HIS CHOSEN WEAPON, DAVID THE HAWK, AS HE CHALLENGES HIS TEACHER, CORT. yeah no shit marvel, we're not stupid and we can see that he is standing there, in the field of battle, with his chosen weapon, as he challenges his teacher, cort. I hate it when narration treats me like I'm an idiot that can understand what's going on.