Story time

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 01:07 AM

So a week ago I go over to a guy's house. I know him from work. He's married... but to a man. They've been married for 4 years, and together for 6. I've lived with a gay guy before, so I figure what the fuck, no biggie.

An enjoyable dinner and chill time afterwards drinking a LOT of wine. At various points of the night, I slip it into the conversation that I'm definitely not gay. Everything's going grand until the guy from work informs me, several times, that he hasn't had sex with hubby in 8mos. Great.

I brush it off, thinking it's guy whining about not getting laid enough. Normal guy stuff. Right? So his hubby leaves the room at one point, and the dude puts his arm around me and says, "Ever been sucked off by a gay guy?" Like, whispers it. My response was thankfully not violent, and I say, "Nope, and I have no interest in it either." He's drunk so naturally he repeats himself like 5 times. Finally he stops talking, and just LOOKS at me. Yea, THAT look. I tell him, "NO! NO! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!" He shakes himself back to reality, and I am now deciding on whether it's worth risking driving home w/ 2 bottles of wine in me, or tempt fate by crashing there with the guy who was eyeing me up to kiss me.

Naturally, I hop in my car. I figured if a cop pulled me over, I'd tell him, "Look, a gay guy just offered to suck me off. I figured even if I wrapped myself around a telephone pole, I'd still be better off than I was 10 minutes ago."

Dude calls me the next day, apologizing and saying he was just drunk and horny. I'm still half asleep, so I start to brush him off when he informs me he and hubby broke up. Great. So I was the catalyst in breaking up a gay marraige. Lovely way to start off my move for memorial day weekend. He then spends the next few days calling me every few hours, to which I naturally enough ignore since I'm busy enough with the move to not deal with that shit.

Been getting roughly daily phone calls since, saying he'll leave me alone if I just ask and tell him not to call anymore. Suggestions?

Corbu · 06-02-2007, 01:09 AM

man, just fuck him you tease

Bender · 06-02-2007, 01:10 AM

No comment.

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 01:10 AM

I'm pretty sure there's not thick enough beer goggles to make men attractive, so I reject this suggestion.

better suggestions?

Wayward · 06-02-2007, 01:11 AM

Fuck the other one.

That'll teach the bastard to call you.

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wayward

Fuck the other one.

That'll teach the bastard to call you.

a funnier suggestion, and why I posted the story.

Cybren · 06-02-2007, 01:13 AM

Call him and tell him not to talk to you and if that doesn't work continue with ignoring?

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 01:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cybren

Call him and tell him not to talk to you and if that doesn't work continue with ignoring?

That's probably what I'll be doing, I was just curious as to how gat would handle it.

altho a small part of me just wants to ignore him entirely.

Corbu · 06-02-2007, 01:22 AM

chop them both up into bits and bury them in their own backyard at night.

wear a black trashbag all over your body, only opening enough room for your eyes and mouth, and wear one of those filter masks so nobody can see your mouth.

foilproof.

Kzin · 06-02-2007, 01:28 AM

On the one hand, hahaha, every guy should go through this once so we know how the womenz feel when we're drunk, horny and inappropriate ....

On the other hand, this has never happened to me, probably because even drunk people are somewhat averse to getting a broken nose.

I'm with the Ignore strategy in Cronik's case.

Agent Blip · 06-02-2007, 01:29 AM

Cronik, can we please have a story time everynight?

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Agent Blip

Cronik, can we please have a story time everynight?

If I had stories like this to tell every night, I'd shoot myself in the face.

Kzin: Agreed. I was pissed off for so many reasons, and the "getting hit on by gay guy" one was probably the least of them. I was pissed off since he hit on me even with his hubby in the other room. I was even more pissed off driving home since I've been saying for years that guys can have normal relationships with gay guys, and then this happens.

Agent Blip · 06-02-2007, 01:37 AM

I'd say if they're divorcing that's more normal than them staying together.

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Agent Blip

I'd say if they're divorcing that's more normal than them staying together.

If I had to guess, hubby was all, "WTF was with you hitting on the straight guy?" and the guy was all, "Well, if it hadn't been 8 months since you fucked me last, maybe I wouldn't look for it elsewhere!"

It was bound to end anyways, most likely, but I'd rather have not played any part in it whatsoever, no matter how unwilling.

Kzin · 06-02-2007, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cronik

... I was even more pissed off driving home since I've been saying for years that guys can have normal relationships with gay guys, and then this happens.

Dysfunctional sex life, drunkenness and philandering ..... what part isn't a normal marriage here?

Agent Blip · 06-02-2007, 01:41 AM

this is why we never eat at gay people's houses. WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED

Corbu · 06-02-2007, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cronik

Agreed. I was pissed off for so many reasons, and the "getting hit on by gay guy" one was probably the least of them. I was pissed off since he hit on me even with his hubby in the other room. I was even more pissed off driving home since I've been saying for years that guys can have normal relationships with gay guys, and then this happens.

Doesn't that kind of stuff happen with male-female friends as well though, especially when booze is involved?

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 01:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KzinKiller

Dysfunctional sex life, drunkenness and philandering ..... what part isn't a normal marriage here?

Yea, I agree wholeheartedly. The difference is that women aren't as aggressive, on average.

On top of that, this guy knew I wasn't gay, nor had any interest.

Kzin · 06-02-2007, 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cronik

Yea, I agree wholeheartedly. The difference is that women aren't as aggressive, on average.

Unless tequila is involved.

dnallivah · 06-02-2007, 01:58 AM

Well the two times gay friends of mine decided to try and shack up with me it ended up putting a huge wedge in our relationship. In the end I just quit calling them. I really miss one and wish I hadn't been so paranoid, ah well.

dnallivah · 06-02-2007, 01:59 AM

oh, and i'm more violent than most men i've dated. and i had a chick cousin who beat her husband till he left her

EDF · 06-02-2007, 02:02 AM

jeez man, ruin another relationship why dont you?

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dnallivah

Well the two times gay friends of mine decided to try and shack up with me it ended up putting a huge wedge in our relationship. In the end I just quit calling them. I really miss one and wish I hadn't been so paranoid, ah well.

It's a shame since I like the guy. He's a cool dude when he's not offering to polish my knob.

I knew him for about 2 weeks before this happened tho, so it just goes back to my "dealbreaker" theory back when I was talking about my "girl on shitter" story. If I knew this guy for years and we were great friends, I'd try to salvage the relationship, but something this negative happening so early in knowing him pretty much doomed it.

EDF · 06-02-2007, 02:14 AM

so be it. if he has any honor he will fall on his sword, if not the praetorians will do so for him

$1.25 · 06-02-2007, 02:15 AM

i agree with corbu

what a cock tease

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 02:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Erinyes DF

so be it. if he has any honor he will fall on his sword, if not the praetorians will do so for him

I think the problem was that he wanted me to fall on his sword.

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 02:16 AM

aaaaaaannnddd I just managed to thoroughly gross myself out with my own joke. Ugh.

Agent Blip · 06-02-2007, 02:19 AM

was he at least good looking?

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Agent Blip

was he at least good looking?

If you're into spanish guys. He's an in-shape 35yr old guy. I guess I could take it as a compliment that I got hit on by an attractive gay man, right?

I'm not even into spanish women tho, so did nothing for me.

$1.25 · 06-02-2007, 02:22 AM

was his dick big atleast?

Agent Blip · 06-02-2007, 02:26 AM

did he have a thexy spanish accent?

DaftVapor · 06-02-2007, 02:29 AM

fuck both of them, then send them each pics of you with the other.

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 02:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by $1.25

was his dick big atleast?

according to him, yes. It was heresay, tho, so who knows (thankfully not me).

Vaporous: Interesting suggestion. I'd approve if it didn't involve me.

DaftVapor · 06-02-2007, 02:41 AM

thats why you need our help, cronik.

thats why you need help.

$1.25 · 06-02-2007, 02:45 AM

also the answer to "ever been sucked off by a gay guy?" is always always always

"well... im not sure if he was gay"

Maestro · 06-02-2007, 02:46 AM

Ignore! A parting shot ("Stop calling me fucker!") would also be appropriate.

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by $1.25

also the answer to "ever been sucked off by a gay guy?" is always always always

"well... im not sure if he was gay"

dammit. I obviously went to this event unprepared.

I can't imagine why, but my wit seemed to have failed me when it happened. I couldn't imagine what threw me off balance and disrupted my normal thought-process.

Cronk · 06-02-2007, 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maestro

Ignore! A parting shot ("Stop calling me faggot!") would also be appropriate.

Fixed.

Scorned · 06-02-2007, 03:11 AM

Dude, you're not gay if he's the one suckin your dick!

Keiyla · 06-02-2007, 03:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cronik

Been getting roughly daily phone calls since, saying he'll leave me alone if I just ask and tell him not to call anymore. Suggestions?

If he isn't getting the ever so subtle hint that you don't want to talk to him, you could always do as he suggests, and TELL him so. I know, it's a mature, honest thing to do and probably foreign to your nature, but you might give it a shot if pretending a problem will go away on its own doesn't work.

You don't have to be mean. Just tell him you don't blame him for what he said when he was drunk, and you know he's hurting right now because he's going through a break up, but you're just not comfortable with being the one to help heal the.. erm... hole... in his ...heart right now. That you have too much to deal with on your own to be able to give him as much time and attention as he'd need.

Or something like that.

06-02-2007, 01:09 AM	#2
Corbu In search of the Truth Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Sesame Street Posts: 28,905 gXboxLive Leaderboard: 20^th	man, just fuck him you tease __________________

06-02-2007, 01:10 AM	#3
Bender has a clever user title Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 53,656	No comment. __________________

06-02-2007, 01:22 AM	#9
Corbu In search of the Truth Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Sesame Street Posts: 28,905 gXboxLive Leaderboard: 20^th	chop them both up into bits and bury them in their own backyard at night. wear a black trashbag all over your body, only opening enough room for your eyes and mouth, and wear one of those filter masks so nobody can see your mouth. foilproof. __________________

06-02-2007, 01:29 AM	#11
Agent Blip sexy dromiceiomimus Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: music city, USA Posts: 8,279	Cronik, can we please have a story time everynight? __________________

06-02-2007, 01:37 AM	#13
Agent Blip sexy dromiceiomimus Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: music city, USA Posts: 8,279	I'd say if they're divorcing that's more normal than them staying together. __________________

06-02-2007, 01:07 AM	#1
Cronk has angry, all-seeing eyes Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 46,594	So a week ago I go over to a guy's house. I know him from work. He's married... but to a man. They've been married for 4 years, and together for 6. I've lived with a gay guy before, so I figure what the fuck, no biggie. An enjoyable dinner and chill time afterwards drinking a LOT of wine. At various points of the night, I slip it into the conversation that I'm definitely not gay. Everything's going grand until the guy from work informs me, several times, that he hasn't had sex with hubby in 8mos. Great. I brush it off, thinking it's guy whining about not getting laid enough. Normal guy stuff. Right? So his hubby leaves the room at one point, and the dude puts his arm around me and says, "Ever been sucked off by a gay guy?" Like, whispers it. My response was thankfully not violent, and I say, "Nope, and I have no interest in it either." He's drunk so naturally he repeats himself like 5 times. Finally he stops talking, and just LOOKS at me. Yea, THAT look. I tell him, "NO! NO! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!" He shakes himself back to reality, and I am now deciding on whether it's worth risking driving home w/ 2 bottles of wine in me, or tempt fate by crashing there with the guy who was eyeing me up to kiss me. Naturally, I hop in my car. I figured if a cop pulled me over, I'd tell him, "Look, a gay guy just offered to suck me off. I figured even if I wrapped myself around a telephone pole, I'd still be better off than I was 10 minutes ago." Dude calls me the next day, apologizing and saying he was just drunk and horny. I'm still half asleep, so I start to brush him off when he informs me he and hubby broke up. Great. So I was the catalyst in breaking up a gay marraige. Lovely way to start off my move for memorial day weekend. He then spends the next few days calling me every few hours, to which I naturally enough ignore since I'm busy enough with the move to not deal with that shit. Been getting roughly daily phone calls since, saying he'll leave me alone if I just ask and tell him not to call anymore. Suggestions?

06-02-2007, 01:11 AM	#5
Wayward life is terrible Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: the darkness Posts: 14,672	Fuck the other one. That'll teach the bastard to call you.

06-02-2007, 01:13 AM	#7
Cybren ҉҉҉҉▒▒▒▒▒▒ Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 3,273 gXboxLive Leaderboard: 38^th	Call him and tell him not to talk to you and if that doesn't work continue with ignoring?

06-02-2007, 01:28 AM	#10
Kzin Frequent Flyer Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 47,961	On the one hand, hahaha, every guy should go through this once so we know how the womenz feel when we're drunk, horny and inappropriate .... On the other hand, this has never happened to me, probably because even drunk people are somewhat averse to getting a broken nose. I'm with the Ignore strategy in Cronik's case.

06-02-2007, 01:41 AM	#16
Agent Blip sexy dromiceiomimus Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: music city, USA Posts: 8,279	this is why we never eat at gay people's houses. WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED __________________

06-02-2007, 01:58 AM	#20
dnallivah Dnal Smash! Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 26,344	Well the two times gay friends of mine decided to try and shack up with me it ended up putting a huge wedge in our relationship. In the end I just quit calling them. I really miss one and wish I hadn't been so paranoid, ah well.

06-02-2007, 01:59 AM	#21
dnallivah Dnal Smash! Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 26,344	oh, and i'm more violent than most men i've dated. and i had a chick cousin who beat her husband till he left her

06-02-2007, 02:02 AM	#22
EDF in this youth are many a marius Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: south jersey Posts: 8,339	jeez man, ruin another relationship why dont you?

06-02-2007, 02:14 AM	#24
EDF in this youth are many a marius Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: south jersey Posts: 8,339	so be it. if he has any honor he will fall on his sword, if not the praetorians will do so for him

06-02-2007, 02:15 AM	#25
$1.25 apologeology Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 34,031	i agree with corbu what a cock tease

06-02-2007, 02:16 AM	#27
Cronk has angry, all-seeing eyes Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 46,594	aaaaaaannnddd I just managed to thoroughly gross myself out with my own joke. Ugh.

06-02-2007, 02:19 AM	#28
Agent Blip sexy dromiceiomimus Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: music city, USA Posts: 8,279	was he at least good looking? __________________

06-02-2007, 02:22 AM	#30
$1.25 apologeology Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 34,031	was his dick big atleast?

06-02-2007, 02:26 AM	#31
Agent Blip sexy dromiceiomimus Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: music city, USA Posts: 8,279	did he have a thexy spanish accent? __________________

06-02-2007, 02:45 AM	#35
$1.25 apologeology Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 34,031	also the answer to "ever been sucked off by a gay guy?" is always always always "well... im not sure if he was gay"

06-02-2007, 02:46 AM	#36
Maestro Annoying Noob Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 786	Ignore! A parting shot ("Stop calling me fucker!") would also be appropriate. __________________

06-02-2007, 03:11 AM	#39
Scorned Insert Title Here Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: :noitacoL Posts: 22,190 gXboxLive Leaderboard: 3^rd	Dude, you're not gay if he's the one suckin your dick! __________________

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