[Rodd]

Dont ever grow up kids.


My parents moved about 6 years ago from Staten Island to Brick NJ, about a 50 minute drive with no traffic. My dad, the biggest asshole in my life, is getting to the point where he pretty much refuses to drive to S.I. cause of the traffic, so he expects everyone to go see him but never vice versa. My mom, doesnt drive on the highway. So she's at my dads whim to see the family.


This retarded scenario started to become a problem about 3 months ago, when my wife was first preggo. She had a medical issue and we were told we had 50% chance to lose the baby, so naturally we were upset. We invited my parents to come over for dinner for some moral support, but they "couldn't" come cause my father didnt wanna drive. Okay fine, he's an asshole, always has been, we let it slide.

Well this Friday, we find out if it's a boy or a girl. My mom, who's been upset cause she feels "so far away" from us, was invited to come to the doctor with us. My wife was going to drive to get her, and then we'd drive her home. She was very excited, but then called my wife back later that day and explained that she couldn't make it cause if she went my dad "wouldnt talk to her for a month." Strike fucking two mom.

My brothers are older them me, theyve got 5 kids between them, and my parents were always there for all their "firsts." So naturally, I'm a lil pissed right now, but I'll let it go. The bigger problem is this: my mom has been fighting with my brother for like 10 years cause "he makes no effort and never lets her see her grandkids." So I in turn always gave my brother shit about it. And now who's the asshole? Me. My brother said the same thing over all those years "just wait until you have kids, you'll see you're on the wrong side of this argument." I owe him a big fat apology.

Holidays were getting fucked up cause of this shit, and now my situation is gonna add to it Im sure. Why would I ever go to my parents house when my in-laws are so supportive? My brothers cant be bothered with them, and if I dont go... it'll be them, all by themselves. It's a sad thought but it's the situation they're creating for themselves. My dad is a piece of shit and my mom's his enabler. She's caught in the middle but in the end she needs to sort her shit with him out cause the rest of us have our own lives to run.


I think back to when I was a kid and the 5 of us did everything as a unit. Never thought it'd end up this way at all...

[MMM]

stby

[Welshy]

why can't she drive on the highway?

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Welshy

why can't she drive on the highway?

her motorcycle doesn't go over 50.

[JoshuiMora]

If your family made Jesus Christ the lord of your life, then none of this would happen Rod. I'll pray for your family.












And on a serious note: Yeah your dad sounds like a bastard though, I'd not go too hard on your mom though, she seems like she (from what you've said here) only wants to keep the peace between her and your father.

anyway, hope their attitudes change man, but don't let their assholishness ruin what is suppose to be on of the best moments of your life.

[Kzin]

What's the problem? I mean you just move to Brick, make your work commute hell and cut yourself off from all your friends and your wife's family, but make your parents happy!

Eh ..... okay this would make sense in a Utah cult, but otherwise, no. Sounds like rotating holidays between the brothers' houses and the in-laws and mom & dad are invited but it's up to them to reach out.

[Rodd]

Originally Posted by Welshy

why can't she drive on the highway?

She's scared. She'll drive local, but not on a highway.

Originally Posted by KzinKiller

What's the problem? I mean you just move to Brick, make your work commute hell and cut yourself off from all your friends and your wife's family, but make your parents happy!

Eh ..... okay this would make sense in a Utah cult, but otherwise, no. Sounds like rotating holidays between the brothers' houses and the in-laws and mom & dad are invited but it's up to them to reach out.

Yeah exactly. It'll end up with my dad not going, my mom staying with him, and all of us being happy that we dont have to see my dad.

Joshui is right, we cant hate on my mom cause of it, but I'm sick of the headache of trying to hear her side of it too.

[Mrs. Blackferne]

I'm home sick today, but I told the hubby on his way out the door about this thread that it was there. He should be reading/responding once he gets to work.

Now, about families being evil - I get what you're saying about the enabling. It took me YEARS to realize that as mean as my stepmother was, my dad at any point had the power to tell her to STFU, so he was just as bad because he never did lay down the law with her about being an evil bitch. Jokes on him cause I'm out of the house, my brother is out of the house, and he's still stuck with her, although she's mellowed with age.

I've tried to impress this upon Blackferne, that if his parents wish to be treated as a unit, and they always put forward a united front, then he can't just blame his mom for being crazy, because she's only as crazy as his dad lets her be. At any point in all this mess, he could have told her to STFU and he didn't.

When we were super-pissed at his parents, we wrestled with the idea of cutting them off completely. Ultimately, we decided against it, but one of the reasons isn't so great. One reason to suck it up and deal to an extent is that they are old and if you're not speaking to them, and then they croak, you'll feel REALLY bad. I know that sounds morbid, but your parents are what, 60? That's not so unreasonable.

You may have to redefine what you see the future relationship with your parents being. As much as it sucks, it may be that you call them on some holidays and that's about it. Your first priority has to be your wife and kid (as I think you said to Blackferne).

[Blackferne]

Rod, your problem is totally different than mine. First your problem is primarily with your dad. Mine is with my mom. Your dad is an asshole. My mom is crazy. But since it is your dad you can get a bottle of whiskey, get plastered with him, head to the backyard and "settle this". Yet if I hit my mom, I become the asshole.

Seriously though you should tell your dad straight up that he is hurting your mom. She wants to see the sonogram and be there, but he is not letting her. Also can't she take a bus or something?

[Welshy]

yeah you guys got problems

[Rodd]

Originally Posted by Blackferne

Seriously though you should tell your dad straight up that he is hurting your mom. She wants to see the sonogram and be there, but he is not letting her. Also can't she take a bus or something?

She doesnt need a bus, my wife wants to pick her up and drop her off. She actually wants to pick her up on Thursday and have her sleep over so we get to spend some time with her. Other then my mom being a submissive enabler to my dad, she was always a great mom.

My dad on the other hand is a jerkoff. Picture the dad from the wonder years, without any sign of "love" that "Jack Arnold" would eventually show towards the end of the episode... that was my dad. Matter of fact I've rarely if ever spoken directly to him. If I need to tell him something, I tell my mom and she tells him. This method was established when I was first learning to talk. 30 years, nothings changed.

[MonJoe]

Originally Posted by Welshy

yeah you guys got problems

Luckily in Australia the parents leave their young when they are born.

[Welshy]

well we get too big for their pouches

[Dakk]

wallaby darned.

[Welshy]

not emusing

[Kzin]

Now you've goanna'n done it.

[Dakk]

Oh no, dingo there girlfriend.

[Blackferne]

you platapussies aren't sticking to the topic!

[Kzin]

Originally Posted by Blackferne

you platapussies aren't sticking to the topic!

Okay, we get it, no need to beat us over the head with a wombat.

[dnallivah]

Odd. I never wanted my parents to be any part of the whole pregnancy thing. Luckily we're forever away. John's mom asked to watch the birth and I squashed that little wish as fast as I could. No fucking way.

Good luck Rod, there is advice I could give that would possibly work. Unless you man up and talk directly to your father about the issues, you'll never hit the root of them.

Regardless of what you do, in the end your mother will blame you about not getting to be part of this - even though you've made it easy for her. She might be an awesome mom, but when grandkids get involved mom's can get stupid.

[Dakk]

My God, why would his mom want to see that? I'm sure even the doctors wished they hadn't.

[dnallivah]

My dad apparently wanted to see it as well. I'm still a little disturbed by that. I don't understand wanting to watch a birth. They asked me if I wanted the mirror set up and I was like fuck no!

Apparently his sister let his mom in on her first birth, and all his mom did was tell her that she was pushing wrong, and if she didn't push right they'd have to do a c-section. She's a fucking nut job, but she's a pretty decent grandma right now (to my kids, not his sisters).

[Blackferne]

With Mrs. B in regards to watching the birth, the agreement is I stay by the head office and can't go down by the warehouse. I am totally okay with that.

[dnallivah]

Yeah I didn't care if the old man watched it, but I wanted him with me.

[Mrs. Blackferne]

Originally Posted by Blackferne

With Mrs. B in regards to watching the birth, the agreement is I stay by the head office and can't go down by the warehouse. I am totally okay with that.

Damn straight! If he sees that, we'll never have sex again.

I would *never* let my in-laws in the birthing room with me. My own mom, maybe, cause she's MY MOM. I don't care if they are all equal DNA partners in this baby, it's MY vagina, I'm giving birth, I call the shots.

[Rodd]

Originally Posted by Blackferne

With Mrs. B in regards to watching the birth, the agreement is I stay by the head office and can't go down by the warehouse. I am totally okay with that.

Thats the agreement I want, but Mrs Flanders wants me "rubbing her feet" while she gives birth.... man God is having fun with this one...

[bad1]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Blackferne

Damn straight! If he sees that, we'll never have sex again.

I would *never* let my in-laws in the birthing room with me. My own mom, maybe, cause she's MY MOM. I don't care if they are all equal DNA partners in this baby, it's MY vagina, I'm giving birth, I call the shots.

nice...

hey blackie...be sure you have Mrs. B take off the pants of the family before she starts pushing...


FYI...I delivered both of my kids...it was the most incredible thing I have ever done...the doc will assist you so you dont drop it....i even slipped her a finger after they came out...

[Blackferne]

Originally Posted by RodFlanders

Thats the agreement I want, but Mrs Flanders wants me "rubbing her feet" while she gives birth.... man God is having fun with this one...

why did you put rubbing her feet in quotes? Is that code for soemthing dirty?

Oh Rodd.....thats gross.

[bad1]

Originally Posted by Blackferne

why did you put rubbing her feet in quotes? Is that code for soemthing dirty?

Oh Rodd.....thats gross.

I read it "rubbing her teet"

[Cronk]

Rodd, she can hop on the train in red bank, seaside, toms river, pt pleasant... any number of places that she wouldn't need to take the parkway for. The train is cheap as fuck, and you could grab her in NYC, and she can park at the train station.

That's not the point (but I'm shocked they live in brick... where in brick? I grew up there...) tho, obviously. You're gonna have to tell your mother that she can either choose to be a part of your kid's life, or let her husband hold her back. It's her choice, she's not a victim in this.

[Cronk]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Blackferne

Damn straight! If he sees that, we'll never have sex again.

I would *never* let my in-laws in the birthing room with me. My own mom, maybe, cause she's MY MOM. I don't care if they are all equal DNA partners in this baby, it's MY vagina, I'm giving birth, I call the shots.

Preach on, sista! I can understand them asking, but I'd say you have plenty of room to deny the request. And for real... what father would want to see his daughter's coochie past like 3? (besides jaymay)

[dnallivah]

Well he was blabbing about what a wonderful experience it was watching me be born, blah blah blah. He asked if we were going to video tape it...FUCK NO.

Especially during my last labor since I had laryngitis. I sounded like a goose having an orgasm every time I moaned in pain. Back labor sucks. I hope neither Mrs. Blackie or Mrs. Rodd have to go through that.

[bad1]

Originally Posted by dnallivah

I sounded like a goose having an orgasm every time I moaned in pain.

HONK HONK

[Mrs. Blackferne]

Originally Posted by dnallivah

Well he was blabbing about what a wonderful experience it was watching me be born, blah blah blah. He asked if we were going to video tape it...FUCK NO.

Especially during my last labor since I had laryngitis. I sounded like a goose having an orgasm every time I moaned in pain. Back labor sucks. I hope neither Mrs. Blackie or Mrs. Rodd have to go through that.

I have already determined that I will get as many drugs as legally allowed.

[dnallivah]

The nurse was trying to rush my labor because I was "disturbing the other pregnant women".



Later that night when a different nurse came in, I was whispering to her (because I didn't sound like a goose while whispering) and she got irritated and raised her voice saying I didn't have to whisper. When I raised my own voice she rolled her eyes and said "oh, you're the one."



Then the fucking bitch grabbed my breast without asking and said THIS IS HOW YOU GET YOUR MILK FLOW GOING and started squeeze my nipple. God help me if I ever see her on the street, I will go out of my way to hit her with my car.

[dnallivah]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Blackferne

I have already determined that I will get as many drugs as legally allowed.

That's good. I'm a psycho and prefer natural labor Actually, when I determined that it was going to be back labor I asked how far along I was (dialted) and it was already too late for drugs. So when they told me to push, I got him out in three tries.

[Cronk]

Did you enjoy it? It'd probably been a while since John groped you like that, so take it from the nurse I say.

[dnallivah]

No, her hands were rough and she milked me like a cow. The lactation consultant was much nicer, but her breath reeked of hospital salsibury steak.

I was pissed though, because JD would eat when they weren't around, but they didn't believe me since he was sleeping so much during the day (same schedule as in the womb). They kept trying to tell me he was going to end up back in the hosptal. The one sow rolled her eyes like she didn't believe I succesfully nursed my daughter.

[Scorned]

Rod, I think you need to call your dad, and cut out the middleman. Let it all ride, let him know how you feel and how much of an asshole he is. He'll be pissed at first, but I bet it will sink in.

[Cronk]

Oh, and I have "family" in brick too, if you want that option.