[DUATE]

Is it because ~Duate is a self-absorbed rabbit-hugger

~Duate used to be cool, till I realized he was a faggot

~Duate's lips resemble mangled lemons mixed with blood.

~Duate's doctor advised him to take up smoking

~When Duate was born, his mother thought she accidently shit out the wrong side and tried to wipe him up with toilet paper.

~Duate stores his urine in jars buried in his backyard

~Duate's motor control is so poor, he can barely navigate threads.

~Duate's personal hygiene is less the reputable

~Duate's typing skills are worse than Lokais'

~Duate is first in the abortion "pros" column

~Duate voted for Bush twice cause he thought that he was signing up for hairy chick porn

~Duate voted for Gore, because he thought he was signing up for S&M porn

~Duate voted for the Roasted Duck, because he turned in a menu at the ballot box.

~Duate votes exclusively green party because he thinks it will make it possible for him to have sex with aliens

~Duate was actually surpirsed that when I said lets argue a "Stupid idea" we started arguing about him. DUATE, YOU'RE NOT THE CHOCOLATIEST COOKIE IN THE JAR.

~Duate is a total fuck

~Duate doesn't belong here

~Duate? More like Karate! Kid! was a decent movie!

~Duate voted for the Libertarians because he likes books

~Duate voted Democrat because he agreed with their political standpoints and thought Bush is not a very good president.

~Duate watched Star Wars expecting to see his favorite celebrities locked in a battle to the death

~Duate was lured into a car because he was offered candy. There, he raped the guy.

~Duate was lured into a car because he thought he was gonna get molested by a guy...but he was only given candy. And he cried

~Duate thinks Lokais is a pretty cool guy.

~that hurt

~Duate needed to make a candle, so he tried to use wikipedia.org.

~Duate still says the phrase "none of your beeswax"

~Duate doesn't understand this thread.

~Duate is bad enuf but a frog

~Duate sucks. THANKS ARZEN.

~DuaKe is a terrible speller.

~Its past duate's bedtime. His mom is going to come in and give him a spanking. Thats why he does it. HARDER MOMMY!

~Duate once met Lincoln's ghost, but failed to have any adventures

~Duate had a girlfriend, but she died from lack of cock.

~Duate talked to T-Rex and failed to discuss anything of intellectual import. He also did not sex up Utahraptor.

~Duate went to the greyhound track once, but only placed fifth

~Duate thinks Welshy is funny.

~DUATE SUPPORTS FLOOD CONTROL.

~Duate built himself a trampoline, but it made his jumps smaller

~Duate thinks the universe came from a God or gods.

~Duate has an outy belly button.
SERIOUSLY, THATS DEAD TISSUE. WHACK IT OFF.

~Duate decided to travel to the moon once. He totally failed.

~When Duate masturbates, he inhales air with his penis.

~Duate visited penguins once. On seeing them he said "I didn't know zebras lived this far south"

~Duate was on TV once, on "The Worlds Duatiest Men"

~Duate lost a finger when he tried to cut his peanut butter sandwich diagonally, not straight across like he was used to.

~Duate broke up with his highschool sweetheart after prom. She died during his freshman year.

~Duate is so lazy, they named an sea on the moon after him. "The Sea of Duate" I mean, whats lazier than a sea without water?

~Duate tried to sharpen a pencil once, and now he has no knees

~Duate laughs everytime his brother farts after Duate pulls his finger.

~Duate went on holiday to England, and it only took him two weeks to pick up the native language

~Duate tried to scuba dive once. He was amazed at the wonderful life under the liquid barrier that he had been ignorant of. He stayed underwater for hours, revelling in his new knowledge, until his mom told him he had to get out of the bathtub, because his friends were at the door.

edit: DID I SAY FRIENDS? I MEANT ENEMIES. HE HAS NO FRIENDS.

~Duate liked to masturbate while driving, till the arcade kicked him out

~Duate went to Hollywood hoping to make his way as an actor. Hollywood, North Dakota!

~Duate liked to maturbate while driving. Til the golf club kicked him out.

~Duate was excited when he found out Jesus was a carpenter, because Rainy Days and Mondays is like his favourite song ever!

~Duate is such a music snob, he understood this reference.

~Duate ate an entire hamburger in one sitting.

~Duate fought the Power Rangers, but never grew HUGE and made them get out their mech-suits.

~Duate fought Mothra, and saved his living room from the scourge of the fluttering Terror.

~Duate fought the law, and the law won.

~Duate fought the good fight until Jesus just told him to give up. He'll never get into heaven, Jesus explained.

~Duate fought Women's Rights with a fiery temper and a sexy wink.

~Duate fought until his hands bled from the effort. Then he finally declared the mailbox the winner.

~Duate fought giraffes, but brought moths that only eat wool, and was trampled to death by a herd of cotton.

~Duate fought his Cancer until the day he died. Later he found out that the tumor was actually his kneecap.

~Duate fought a kangaroo baby. His only comment on the fight: "He's a devil in the sack"

~Duate fought insomnia by insulting another person on the internet constantly. Loser.

~Duate fought for his right to party. He won, then promptly put on a party hat and fell asleep.

~Duate fought he was going to the store, but his mother brought him to the fespians club, where he became a mediocre actor with low pay and bad hours.

~Duate fought the MAN, but it turns out the MAN likes it when you throw money at him.

~Duate fought black people in the Chinese War.. And he called them niggers.

~Duate fought sanity by flummoxing a yellow.

~Duate fought the status quo, wearing his hat backwards. His parents disowned him.

~Duate fought WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY ELSE SERIOUSLY.

~Duate fought repitition by switching hands and pleasuring himself with his left.

~Duate fought for good taste in music by refraining from posting in music threads.

~Duate fought in 'Nam and came back with all his limbs. Pussy.

~Duate fought in 'Nam and every night ate his favorite dish. Pussy.

~Duate fought illiteracy by pushing a bill to ban sex before marriage.

~Duate fought the dinosaurs, but failed to stop the mammals.

~Duate fought The statue of Liberty in a no-hold-barred match. He blinked first.

~Duate fought Owls by writing the book series Redwall, attempting to inspire woodland creatures to rise up and take over. Unfortunately, he made a fatal error: Mice only read REALISTIC fiction.

~Duate fought Jesus over who would rule the earth after God passed away. Duate fell for the ol' "Look out behind you!" and the rest is historical fiction.

~Duate sold his master over to his enemies for 40 silver pieces. Then he realized silver was worthless in the Confederacy.

~Duate OH GOD I MESSED UP ON THAT LAST ONE.

~Duate ate Prometheus's liver every day while Prometheus was chained to the rock. The thing of it was, Duate thought he was helping.

~Duate likes to play Zerg, because he thinks Ultralisks are HOT.

~Duate needed a place to stay, so he bought a house cat

~Duate ABANDONED ME and now thinks he can just rejoin without any consequences!

~Duate didn't realize Macy Gray was black. He thought she was gray.

~Duate was eating dinner, you clingy shit

~Duate was locked in a closet with vanna white and didn't even pretend to "Fall out of his clothes"

~Duate thought he saw the vigrin mary once, till it was explained that it was just a mirror. Did I say once? I meant EVERY SINGLE DAY.

~Duate tried to eat a subway sandwich in one bite, and choked to death because he ordered extra LARGE METAL BLADES.

~Duate doesnt smoke marijuana, he's just like that naturally

~Duate came last in a "who can masturbate the longest" race. CONFUSING.

~Duate gave a man a fish, and he ate for a day. Then he taught a man to fish, and he died, because duate is a poor teacher.

~Duate was brought to the dog pound and they informed his captor that they only accept dogs, not hairy rodents.

Duate's heart grew seven sizes that day. The blood pumped so hard his circulatory system exploded
Duate's heart grew seven sizes that day. Lucky he was wearing tracksuit pants.
Duate's heart grew seven sizes that day. So did his ego, the insufferable ass.
Duate thinks that "Alls fair in love and War" is a good motto to apply to baseball.
Duate only appreciates applied science. Pure research is beyond him.
Duate's heart grew seven sizes that day. The previous week however, it shrank 10 sizes after he raped all those kittens. He's almost due for parole.
Duate ran as hard as he could. Subsequently, his erection finished .03 seconds before he did, and took the gold.
Duate blew up a balloon. He's 1/8th arabic, you know.
Duate went to grammar prison after publishing his thesis. He still claims someone was set him up.
Duate has a toenail the size of a regular toenail.
Duate walked warily down the street with his brim pulled way down low.
Duate used to roll a dice to decide what to do. He stopped after no one wanted two come over four premarital six. Pretend three and five dont exist, please.
Duate caught herpes once. He'd been searching for it for eight years.
Duate once wrote a book called "Things I am good at". It was 1700 pages long, but sadly writing wasn't one of the things he was good at, so no one read it.
Duate just discovered this awesome band, "The Smashing Pumpkins", and really wants you to listen
Duate has nice hair. He keeps it in a scrap book.
Duate baked himself a beautiful bride. Sadly, he forgot to add sweetner to her personality, and she turned out to be a huge tart.
Duate owns a vinyard. His favourite is a cheeky little '02 "xXx"
Duate is like santa, in that he only comes once a year. He also has to be careful not to wake the sleeping children.
Duate is hanging around, probably waiting to claim page 6
Duate is french for "duate"
Duate drank the entire ocean, to prove to a girl that he loved her. It didn't change the fact that he has a tiny penis, though.
Duate was a handsome young man once. Now he's a bitter old crone.
Duate was in a 'Battle of the bands' once. He brutally slew four before someone explained the concept to him.
Duate has this exact phrase appearing in one of his sigs
Duate drew the original Mickey Mouse. He used a deformed young african child as a model.
Duate wonders how many pages this will last
Duate is gay, but for carrots instead of men. What do you call that?
Duate has cancer of the awesome.
Duate thinks that positive thinking leads to positive action. He tried to tell this to Bin Laden and was promptly removed from the premises
Duate rides his bike to school. The rush of the wind in his hair felt great, until the cops made him put his pants back on.
Duate likes to wear dresses. There's nothing wrong with that, except that he picks the ugliest pieces of shit he can find.
Duate got an A for woodshop. The teacher never thought he'd actually put his penis in that vice, but a bet is a bet.
Duate knows the secrets of how the universe formed, but possessing only a fundamental grasp of physics, he can't explain it to others
Duate likes to talk big, but he thinks small
Duate's hands are clammy. His feet are lobstery.
Duate approves of violence, but not sex. The british don't like him.
Duate stole the cookiee from the co-cookie jar. Also, a nation's innocence.
Duate finds it is better to give than to receive. Consequently, all STDs can actually be traced back to his filthy penis
Duate promised to marry the widow Beth after the wars, but he never did. She died of shame.
Duate has partaken in numerous shotgun weddings. He found a loophole around America's gay marriage stance
Duate got roped into a shotgun wedding. Life was fine, until Remington-Mae came home and found him in bed with a young smooth-bore .22 rifle
Duate was King of DDR until some guys beat the shit out of him for playing DDR.
Duate did two chicks at once, once. He was fired shorty after, and hasn't worked on a farm since.
Duate once had sex with a man to prove he wasn't gay. No, I didn't get it either.
Duate once flew in an airplane to visit a girl he met on the internet only to find out that the airplane was actually a 47 year old bald guy.

[Lokais]

Duate wants sympathy from Welshy. What he's gonna get is herpes from his boyfriend Francisco.

[Welshy]

pretty much, yeah

try not to take it personally

[KidShazaam]

I DON'T LIKE YOU EITHER!


You'd best watch yourself...I have the death sentence in 12 systems!

[Lokais]

He'll be careful

[Welshy]

Why do they call Duate "lassie"?

[Whisper Slim]

This little one's not worth the trouble. Now GET YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF MY PLANE, YOU DAMN DIRTY APE!!

[KidShazaam]

Originally Posted by Agent Pimsleuth

This little one's not worth the trouble. Now GET YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF MY PLANE, YOU DAMN DIRTY APE!!

Theres....something on the wing...some...thing...

[Whisper Slim]

Originally Posted by KidShaazaam

Theres....something on the wing...some...thing...

something compelled me to gis that, and now i'm going to have nightmares.

[Niklut]

Sure Joey. You ever been in a cockpit before?

[Lokais]

Originally Posted by Niklut

Sure Joey. You ever been in a cockpit before?

You ever been in a Turkish prison before?

[Niklut]

Originally Posted by Lokais

You ever been in a Turkish prison before?

You ever . . . seen a grown man naked ?

[Lokais]

Originally Posted by Niklut

You ever . . . seen a grown man naked ?

Listen kid, I'm not Kareem Abdul Jabar.

My dad says you are holding the rest of the team back.

Yeah, well tell your dad to try busting his ass up and down the court day in and day out...blah blah blah.

Halfway through I realized that, although that line is hilarious, I don't have it memorized properly

[Niklut]

Originally Posted by Lokais

Listen kid, I'm not Kareem Abdul Jabar.

My dad says you are holding the rest of the team back.

Yeah, well tell your dad to try busting his ass up and down the court day in and day out...blah blah blah.

Halfway through I realized that, although that line is hilarious, I don't have it memorized properly

Niether do I, but that is what Google is for!

Joey : Wait a minute! I know you. You're Kareem Abdul-Jabar.
You played basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers.
Murdock : I'm sorry son, but you must have me confused with some-
one else. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot.
Joey : You are Kareem! I've seen you play. My dad's got
season tickets.
Murdock : I think you should go back to your seat now Joey.
Right Clarence?
Oever : Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, he's not bothering anyone, let him
stay here.
Murdock : But just remember, my name is ROGER MURDOCK. I'm an
airline pilot.
Joey : I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't
work hard enough on defence. And he says that lots of
times, you don't even run down court. And that you
don't really try . . . except during the playoffs.
Murdock : The hell I don't!! ( grabs joey by collar ) LISTEN KID!
I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA.
I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your
old man to drag Walton and Denier up and down the
court for 48 minutes.
Oever : Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

[Lokais]

YES! Thank you!

[Lokais]

Also, I paraphrased it better than I thought!

[Blackferne]

Does anyone speak jive?

[ThatOneDude02]

Daute only avoided fucking up page six by fucking up an entirely new thread instead.